


Forgotten Avengers: Book 5

by Agent Finlay (AgentFinlay), AgentFinlay



Series: Forgotten Avengers: The Recovered Files of Skoll & Hati [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:48:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23296528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFinlay/pseuds/Agent%20Finlay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFinlay/pseuds/AgentFinlay
Series: Forgotten Avengers: The Recovered Files of Skoll & Hati [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604899





	1. Soldier

****

**[Steve - 14:42 July 4th, 2014 - WASHINGTON D.C.]**

_ Soldier - Fleurie _

Bucky used to tell me that the fireworks were for me and when I was younger I had believed him. Now they felt like they were mocking me, every explosion of sound and light was inspiring nothing but anxiety. I’d been walking back to Sam’s when the first firecracker had gone off behind me in the street, it caught me off guard and for a moment I swore I could feel a bullet ripping through my torso. I’d reached up and touched the place where I’d been shot a few months prior, I was fine. I kept walking. By the time I got to the house the barrage of celebration around us had me jumping, it wasn’t like me at all. Between the non stop trying to figure out what had happened to Bucky and the knowledge that Hydra had infiltrated our government, every pop and boom made me wonder if it was an attack. I think Sam saw it in my eyes, he didn’t ask what was wrong or if I was ok, instead he just started the conversation as though it was something he had been thinking about all day. 

“You know, D.C. is going to be crazy tonight, with everyone celebrating how Captain America saved them from hydra again.”

“I thought those things were illegal in the city limits?” the question came out harsher than i’d meant it to. 

Well they are, technically, but everyone knows there isn’t enough manpower to stop it and the cops don’t really try unless they are endangering others. What are you going to do, go arrest them all yourself?” I gave him a look, like I was tempted and he kept talking. “We should get out of the city, maybe someplace less...here.”

“Yeah? Like where? Tony’s? You know he’s throwing a party twice the size of whatever this city can put together just to say he can.”

“You're probably right, that’s why I was thinking something more like Brooklyn.” 

  
  


**[Elena - 18:55 July 4th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

“What are you doing?” I asked, looking around the kitchen.

“Cooking, that’s what you do in kitchens.”

“No, I know that, I mean. WHY are you cooking a thanksgiving meal, we can’t possibly eat all this.”

“I need to do something with my hands, this is keeping me busy.” I looked down at her hands, her knuckles were still discolored with bruising but the swelling had gone down, she wouldn’t let me heal them. She’d been down in the gym for the last couple days trying to escape the fireworks, apparently she’d given up on that course of action and decided that suicide by gluttony was the way to go. There were at least three dishes prepared on the counter, a pot on every burner and I couldn’t see what might already be in the oven. I started to ask when I heard the buzz that signaled there was someone at our front door. I caught myself holding my breath for a moment as my heart skipped, expecting the worst. Fin hadn’t heard it and I left her to her manic cooking to see who it was. I tucked my 9mm into my waistband as I cleared the last few steps, I would be lying to say that recent events hadn’t made me a smidge paranoid. When I got to the door I saw Sam, he was sticking out his tongue and crossing his eyes at the glass. It took me a minute to remember that the doors were 2 way mirrors and he couldn’t see in. I was so caught off guard by the juvenile face making that I almost didn’t notice Captain Rogers was with him. Sam’s face went neutral as I opened the door.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you keep doing that it will get stuck that way?” I waved them in and heard a quiet ‘told you so’ from Rogers behind Sam. I wasn’t sure if he was referring to the face sticking or if he had warned Sam about the mirrored door and I didn’t clarify. 

“So what brings you guys to our side of town?” I asked the question as casually as I could but I knew full well it was nearly a four hour drive from Sam’s place to here and I was worried something was up. 

“Oh, you know. We were just chillin at the house thinking that it might be nice to socialize with some people that we knew weren’t hydra.” Sam joked. “Also, D.C. is shooting every firework that’s been made since the Tang Dynasty, so we wanted to get out of there. I would have called but, I never got your number.” He winked. 

“You know, most of the time when people want to get out of the city for some quiet they don’t come to Brooklyn.” We’d made it to the main living room and I turned to tell them to make themselves at home when a firework went off. I saw Cap tense ever so slightly and heard a crash in the kitchen. 

“Go, take care of whatever that was, we can make ourselves at home, right Cap?” Sam put a hand on his shoulder, bringing his attention back to the conversation at hand and he nodded. 

“Yea, thanks.”

Well, this was shaping up to be an interesting 4th. 

  
  


**[Fin- 19:13 July 4th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

When Elena walked in I was picking up pots and pans from the floor, I'd been reaching for one on the rack when the firework startled me and I knocked the whole rack down. 

“We have company.” she announced, I didn't look up from what I was doing. 

“Good, they can help eat all this. Who is it? Nat? Maria?”

“Sam and Steve.” I dropped the pan I was holding. We hadn’t seen either of them since I'd given Cap my unredacted file in the hospital and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Elena saw the thought in my face. 

“He came as a civilian so I don’t think he’s here to kill you.” She tried to joke but she knew that possibility had been on my list of potential reactions. I just nodded and started pulling more things out of the pantry, trying to decide what to make for dessert and going back to my original plan of distracting myself by keeping my hands busy. I couldn’t avoid them forever, they were in my house, but I could manage a little longer. 

“What are you doing Fin?” she was still standing in the kitchen, body turned toward the door, expecting me to follow. 

I stopped to look at her for a moment and turned back to the stove.

“Ah.” she sat down. “So, hiding then?”

“You know me so well”

“Fin, you can’t run away and hide from everything that comes up that makes you uncomfortable.”

“I know, punching is also a viable option.”

“Fin.” she answered me flatly. 

“Right…’no punching Captain America in this house’.” I said in a stern but mocking voice.

“You know you are going to have to talk to him at some point. You gave him your file and then disappeared, aren’t you even a LITTLE curious about what he might have to say to you”

“Curious may be too mild a word, anxious? Mortified? Yes. Curious...not so much.” I answered as I reached over to adjust the temperature on the oven. She scoffed at me. 

“Fine. Hide in here for a while longer. But eventually the food will be done and we are all going to sit down and eat together, right?”

“Sir, yes sir!” I clicked my heels. I heard her exasperated sigh as she left. 

  
  


**[Elena - 19:25 July 4th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

I gave Sam the tour while Fin cooked, Steve tagged along even though he’d been to the house before. When I went and got dishes from the kitchen they helped me set the table and Sam went through the liquor cabinet at my insistence. I didn’t drink and the quantities of alcohol that Fin required to feel the effects were substantial. We’d kept what Coulson had, which was mostly expensive aged liquors that were brought out for company. 

“What’s this one?” I walked into the living room and he held up a bottle with an unbroken gold foil seal. “There’s no label.”

“It’s from Thor. He gave it to Fin after...in Coulson’s memory. He said it was strong but I wouldn't know, she never opened it.” I shrugged.

“I think I’ll stick with the regular human stuff.” He held up a fifty year old bottle of scotch. “Cap, join me?”

“I don’t really…”

“Don’t let a brother drink alone.” He lifted the bottle. Cap dropped his head in defeat and raised his glass. Sam poured. 

“I hope you liked the bunk beads in the spare room,“ I smiled, “If you’re drinking you’re staying.”

“How could I argue.” Sam raised his glass. “Cheers!” The men clinked their glasses and drank, I excused myself to help Fin bring out the food. I could hear her cursing through the wall. 

“Need a hand?” I asked, the kitchen looked like she’d used every dish we owned. Two whole chickens sat on the counter surrounded by every side dish I could think of. “I hope those boys are hungry…” I said taking the sides out to the table. When I walked back in she was closing something else in the oven and setting a timer. I took one of the chickens and a casserole that looked like some combination of cheese and potatoes, she took the other and another dish. After another trip we had everything on the table and I was glad she’d run out of things to make, we didn’t have much table left. 

“This smells amazing.” Steve announced as they walked into the dining room. I cleared my throat when Fin didn’t answer. 

“Thanks.” She managed awkwardly, taking a seat. 

“Who taught you to cook? Peggy?” He guessed, assuming that was the case since Peggy was the closest thing Fin had to a mother. 

“No.” She laughed. “Aunt Peggy’s idea of cooking was tea and take out. Coulson taught me to cook...Peggy taught me to fight.” She went back to her food and no one spoke for a moment. Sam couldn’t take it and spoke up.

“Would you like a drink?” Sam offered, holding up the scotch. She looked at him silently for a minute before standing, a determined look on her face. 

“Actually, I think I will.” She walked to the cabinet and came back with a glass half filled with amber liquid. Sam raised his glass as she passed him on the way back to her seat and she clicked her glass to his. “Eat up!” She motioned to the table. She didn’t have to ask twice. 

My phone vibrated in my pocket, I would have normally waited to check it but my company was to involved in their food for me to feel bad about it. 

‘ _Today is special but I don’t know why. The fireworks make me feel happy and sad at the same time._ ’

_‘It is a holiday, everyone is celebrating.’_

I saw Fin watching me, she looked away when I saw her and I knew she was trying to give me privacy but she didn’t like not knowing what was going on any more than I liked hiding it from her. 

_‘There is something else, I know but I don’t.’_

_‘Don’t worry if you can’t remember. It will come to you.’_

“So Elena.” Sam started, I jerked my attention back to my company. “This might not be polite dinner conversation, and if that’s the case just tell me to shut up and I will.”

“Alright…” I asked cautiously, “color me intrigued.”

“I gotta ask.” He took a drink of scotch before leaning onto the table to look at me. “Are you actually a werewolf?” Cap did a spit take with the sip of scotch he’d just taken and awkwardly wiped his chin with a paper towel. I saw Fin shift in her chair, unsure how to read the situation. 

“I prefer shapeshifter, skinwalker, or Vargrburin.” I smiled, taking a bite of mac and cheese as though this was the most natural conversation. I”d had a similar one when Fin had found out about my particular skill set. 

“No shit?” Sam asked. 

“No shit.” I laughed. 

“So how does that work exactly?”

I explained the basics and retold the lore that Thor had shared with me, they both hung on to my every word, asking questions that weren’t too personal but were genuinely curious. It was nice, being able to talk about it like it wasn’t a secret. I didn’t get any more texts during dinner and made a mental note to check in before I went to sleep, I heard beeping and thought for a moment that it was my phone when I realized it was coming from the kitchen. 

“Fin. Beeping.” I whispered. 

“Oh!” She hopped up and ran to the kitchen, returning with a pie balanced on a stack of plates. She set it on the table, returning with another plate piled with cookies and a handful of silverware.

“Apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies if you don’t like pie.” I helped her pass out the plates and picked up the serving knife to cut into the pie. “Wait!”

We all sat, unmoving as she bolted back into the kitchen. Drawers slammed open and closed and we looked at each other with sideways glances. After a moment she returned, looking a bit more flustered than she had when she disappeared. 

“I just thought…” She pulled a sad crooked candle out from behind her back and stuck it into the middle of the pie. Lighting it with a sheepish smile. “Happy Birthday, Cap.” 

  
  


**[Steve - 23:16 July 4th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

_When you Break - Bear’s Den_

After dinner I’d insisted Sam and I do the dishes and clean up, it was the least we could do. When we finished Sam had stumbled into the spare room and gone to bed. I couldn’t deny that it was quieter here than it had been in D.C. but the celebrations weren’t limited to the capitol. I couldn’t sleep, I had tried. I finally gave up and crept back out into the living room, not wanting to disturb Sam, who was sleeping like a baby on the top bunk. Not for the first time I regretted my inability to get drunk. 

I skimmed the shelved books for a while, finding one before I settled onto the couch, not trying to find sleep but trying to distract myself from all the noise. I heard a soft click and looked around for the source, nothing in the room moved. I tried to listen for the sound again and heard several light clanging noises coming from outside of the window behind the couch, I pulled the curtains back and saw a slim figure climbing the fire escape. Elena had mentioned that they had the building to themselves so no one should have been out there, it was probably just some kid trying to get a better view of the fireworks. I sat for a few more minutes, telling myself not to bother before deciding that I should go let the kid know that he shouldn’t be trespassing. 

I went to the foyer and took my shield out of the bag we’d brought. Sam had teased about bringing my ‘security blanket’ but he wasn’t wrong. I slid open the window behind the couch, leaning out far enough to be able to reach the metal railings. I pulled myself up and over, making sure the old metal didn’t need to settle under my weight before ascending the steps. At first I didn’t see anyone when I reached the roof, my eyes having trouble adjusting to the darkness with the constant flashes of light in the sky, but one bright explosion illuminated a figure in silhouette. They were sitting under an outcropping, leaning against the low structure that I assumed was originally roof access before the building was remodeled. I approached slowly, not wanting to spook them, and once I got closer I realized it wasn’t a kid. 

“Fin?” I startled her. She jerked, her hands flying up to swipe at her face before she over corrected and smiled at me. Her voice cracked when she spoke and I pretended not to notice. 

“Hey, Cap. Couldn’t sleep either?” she patted the empty space next to her, moving a bottle to her other side and making room for me to sit. 

“No, too much noise.” I answered, taking a seat, not knowing if the noise I was referring to was the fireworks or the din in my head. 

“Would you like a drink? It’s Asgardian...it might actually give you a buzz…” her voice trailed off. I reached over and she handed me the bottle it was about a quarter of the way gone. It was full before dinner and I wondered just how strong it actually was. I took a large swig and the warm honey flavor of the mead coated my tongue, I set it back down between us. She was looking up at the fireworks and the light from them reflected in her wet cheeks. Great, she’d come up here to be alone and I’d just followed. Nice going.

“Something wrong?” I asked. Speaking to women and subtlety, my specialties. She shook her head ‘no’, taking a drink from the bottle but started answering anyway.

“Coulson and I used to come up here and watch them every year. I used to like them...but now they just remind me how…” she made a harsh sound between a laugh and a sob, ”how supremely fucked up everything is.” I leaned back and sat the shield across my legs in front of me.

“How so?” I didn’t disagree but this wasn’t about me. 

“I just…” she started and stopped, as though every part of her was fighting the urge to say something and for a minute I thought she was going to get up and walk away but instead she hugged her knees to her chest and kept going. “I grew up wanting to be like my Pops and Aunt Peggy, I wanted to be part of S.H.I.E.L.D., to fight alongside them. To be one of the good guys just to prove to myself that I could...despite what I was made to be.” She paused, her eyes flicking in my direction. I knew what she was referring to, I'd read the file she’d given me and nothing in it had changed my opinion of the Agent I’d been working with, but I understood. I remembered wondering if I was going to be able to rise above the propaganda puppet they’d made me and be something more. Peggy was the one that told me I could be more than what they’d made me and I believed that was true for Fin as well.

”And now here we are.” She exhaled. ”The good guys have been the bad guys all along and I've been following their orders. I don’t have Coulson anymore, I can’t ask him what to do. I don’t have Peggy most days and when I do have her I don’t want to talk to her about this…” She hid her face in her arms so I couldn't see that she’d started crying again but I could hear it in her muffled voice when she spoke. “How am I supposed to know if I'm one of the good guys or not?”

I laid my hand on her back and she tensed for a minute before her shoulders relaxed a little. 

“I think you are probably one of the good guys.” I whispered. Her shoulders started to shake and I wasn’t sure if she’d started crying again or if she was laughing at me so I took another drink of the honey mead and kept talking. “I don’t think the bad guys worry about whether or not they are good guys.” 

“Don’t you ever get tired of it?” she lifted her face to look at me over her shoulder.

“Of what?”

“Of wondering if you’re doing the right thing.” I didn’t have an answer. 

She took another pull from the bottle before passing it to me. I’d had enough to feel a slight fog in my mind, it was not unpleasant. I did notice that she wasn't jumping at the fireworks anymore so at least that was working for her. She leaned forward and picked up my shield, straightening her legs out in front of her and laying it across her lap as I had.

“He would know the answer. He was a good guy.” She said it so quietly I wasn't sure she had been talking to me and I watched as she traced a finger along the outline of the star.

“who?” I asked, taking the mead and swallowing a few gulps. I didn't want to be drunk, it had been so long I wasn’t sure I remembered what it was like but I did seem to recall it being unpleasant over all and worse to do alone. I was worried she would finish the bottle herself if I didn't help.

“My...Coulson. He didn't get tired of it ever, he loved it. It's who he was. Same as Peggy. They make it look easy, but it's not.”

“He seemed like a nice guy.” I only knew Coulson briefly but I had liked him.

“He was, he loved you...not like, ‘drinking on the roof with his daughter’ you but this you.” She tapped the shield. “His grandpa always told him stories about how you and the commandos were real heroes...You knew him...his grandpa I mean.”

“I did?” I hadn't met anyone else named Coulson that I could recall. She nodded emphatically and I put the bottle on the side of me that was away from her, something told me it was kicking in hard now that it had time to settle.

“Coulson was named after his grandpa, Phillip Coulson...but Phillips was his grandpa's last name, his first name was-”

“Chester. Colonel Chester Phillips was Coulson’s grandfather?” 

“Yea, it's why he wanted to join shield, cause all the stories about how the commandos and Peggy kept going after...you know...and Peggy started Shield and the only thing he wanted more than being part of that team was making his grandpa proud so his grandpa could tell stories about his grandson being a hero too.” She kept finding new fascinating things on the shield to touch, scuffs and scars it had accumulated over time. “I wish he had gotten to spend more time with you, it's not fair that he didn't...you know he told me the same stories? The ones colonel Phillips told him? Coulson told them to me. Sometimes we watched the movies too but I didn't like them as much as the stories. He didn't want me to be an agent tho, he didn't want me to get hurt.” 

“I hear that's what good dad's do.” I didn't know what else to say.

We sat there a while longer, watching the last of the fireworks die off before making our way back down the fire escape. I had offered a hand when I noticed her balance waiver as she stood, the drink having not quite been shaken off. Instead she had insisted I carry down the bottle and she would take my shield, informing me very matter of factly that it was better this way because if she fell from the roof it would break her fall. I didn't honestly think that was a concern but I was too tired to argue and the portion of mead I had helped consume wasn't quite done fogging my brain.

We made it down the steps without incident and Fin lifted a window, stumbling through ahead of me. When I stepped in, I found myself in a dimly lit room, only a small light on the nightstand was on and it cast harsh shadows past the boxes stacked in the corners. Some seemed like they needed to be unpacked and others were labeled ‘storage, ‘charity’, ‘museum’. I looked back at the solitary lamp and saw a framed picture of Coulson and a little girl, she didn’t look much older than the pictures in her file and I thought absently that this must have been his room before...

Fin crawled under the covers of the bed and I felt my cheeks flush, right it was her room now. I started to leave but, before I could reach the door, she spoke.

“You know we are going to have to talk about it.” she said it so softly I thought I had imagined it and when I looked back I realized she was speaking from behind my shield and it was muffling her words. When I met her eyes she almost looked surprised that I had heard her at all. I took a step back into the room, closer to the bed and I notice that she had her whole body pulled up behind the shield under the cover.

“Talk about what?” I asked cautiously, her body language couldn't scream defensive and frightened any more if it tried and I tried to keep my to be soft and level. 

“My file.” she whispered. Right. Her file. I had hoped if I didn't bring it up she we wouldn't need to talk about it, I wasn't sure what needed to be said but I understood that not knowing either way was likely torture for her. 

“Seemed pretty standard to me. I mean sure you spent a few decades cryogenically frozen.” I felt the corner of my lips twitch up in a smile as I continued. ”who hasn't?”

A startled laugh echoed from behind the shield..

“Being genetically engineered to be a weapon? Been there done that. Of course at least I volunteered. Being named after the biggest bad thing in norse mythology by a power crazed Nazi? Well...I won't lie, that's a new one but I must admit that I wonder what Thor would think to know your birth name?” 

She laughed a little at that and when I didn't go on she spoke again.

“But I am the daughter of that ‘power crazed nazi’...the same one that...that ruined your life. If it wasn't for him you would have…” she ducked completely behind the shield ”you would have just gotten to live your life, not been stuck in this one.”

I didn't say anything for what felt like a very long time, I didn’t know what there was to say. She wasn't wrong but what I did know was that she was not him. I remembered that this wasn't an internal conversation and I needed to speak.

“Everyone has an asshole family member, yours just happens to be your father...but he wasn't your dad. As far as I'm concerned Fenriselur Schmitt died when redskull put her in a box and left her there. I have met Finlay and her father agent Coulson. They seem like good people.”

I stood to leave the room but only made it to the doorway before the mead working through my brain decided that I had a question too. 

“Can I ask you something?” I didn’t turn back into the room, part of me hoping she hadn't heard, but when she'd said we needed to talk about it, my immediate thought wasn't of her file and i wanted to get all the air cleared if that's what we were doing here.

“Ok.” the response sounded half asleep and I almost talked myself out of asking.

“Why did you kiss me? At Tony’s party.” I felt my face get hot and regretted asking almost immediately as I held my breath, hoping she’d fallen asleep before I'd gotten the words out.

“Because I wanted to, and I thought maybe you wanted me to...” I heard her answer, almost a whisper. 

“I did. I just didn’t think you...it was...complicated.” She didn’t say anything but I kept talking anyway, in case I could make it more awkward. “I tried not to let myself think about you like that, I was your boss, it was unprofessional.”

“Well...you’re not by boss now....” she made the words sound suggestive and I looked over my shoulder at her. She was sitting up in bed, the fear from a few minutes ago temporarily pushed aside with the change in conversation. Even in the shadows of the dark room I could see the flush in her cheeks and the way she was looking at me. I wanted...what i wanted didn’t matter. I remembered the bottle in my hand. 

“Maybe we should figure it out in the morning.” I didn’t want to have this conversation while she was drunk, even if it might be easier to get her to talk about it. “I’m not sure either of us would be comfortable with where that conversation might go with this in the mix.” I held up the bottle, it had definitely lowered our inhibitions about personal conversations and the way she was looking at me I wasn’t sure there would be much talking if I stayed.

She didn’t say anymore and neither did i, instead I left her room. I took the bottle of mead to the kitchen before returning to the guest room, my eyelids were heavy and I hoped I could get a little sleep. I climbed into the bottom bunk with and rested my hands on my chest, subconsciously intending to run an absent hand over the familiar grooves of the shield as I drifted off. My fingertips touched my tee shirt and the image of Fin hiding behind the painted vibranium flashed in my head. I toyed with going back to retrieve it but I wasn’t sure what would happen if I went back. I knew it would still be there in the morning and the last bit of mead in my head was finally dragging me to sleep as I remembered all the moments I'd had with Fin over the years, wondering if i’d really been so oblivious this whole time.


	2. Kiss with a Fist

**[Elena - 01:13 July 5th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

I sent another text, asking how the rest of his evening had gone and had been waiting for a response while I laid in bed. I could hear Fin and Steve having a conversation in her bedroom and was trying desperately not to eavesdrop. 

‘Is it your birthday?’ I had to read the text twice, I wasn’t sure I'd seen it right the first time.

_ ‘No. it’s not.’ _

_ ‘I thought maybe that was it, what I was remembering. I remember that I told someone that the fireworks were for their birthday.’ _

_ ‘It’s not me. But it is Steve’s birthday today.’ _

_ ‘Thank you.’  _ He answered.

‘For what?’

‘For helping me. I have been trying to sleep for hours but I couldn’t while I was trying to remember. It was so close to the surface, I thought if I slept I would lose it.’

‘You’re welcome’

‘good night Elena.’

‘good night.’ I didn't say more, I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to ask where he had been, where he was now, how he was adjusting, if he was ok. I had so many questions but I said I would let him find himself, and I would. I fell asleep eventually, waking up to the sound of Fin’s shower running. I looked at the clock on my nightstand, reading ten til eight as I rolled out of bed to check on Fin. It was rare that she was awake before me and I crept into her room, noticing a familiar shield laying on top of her comforter. 

“You alright?” I asked through the shower curtain.

“Yeah...I drank more of that mead than I should have. I'm not sure what a hangover feels like but I'm pretty sure I have one.” She groaned. 

“is that what had you and Cap all chatty?” I looked back at the shield, briefly wondering if the mead had gone to their heads and lead to more than just a midnight chat. 

“Probably, he helped me drink half the bottle.” She admitted. 

“Half!?” I hadn't meant to sound shocked but it was hard not to. “Damn. Did you at least have a productive drunk talk?” 

She made a sound that I couldn't decipher, I didn't pry. 

“Alright, I assume whatever happened won’t make today awkward?” I said suggestively, I didn’t think anything untoward had happened but it was fun to tease. 

“We JUST talked. Christ E, get your head out of the gutter.” She laughed and I started to walk out but she stopped me. “Oh! Before you go. There’s a box on my nightstand...it's the stuff we were going to take to the museum but I remembered it last night and thought Cap might want them...but then I thought you might want the one.” Her voice trailed off at the and I wasn't sure what she was talking about. I walked to the nightstand and found a small metal altoids tin, it was the only thing new so I assumed it was what she was referring to. I opened it and found two sets of tags,still on their chains. The one on top was stamped 

STEVEN G ROGERS

187654320 T42 O

I understood why she thought he might want them but I didn’t know why she thought I would. I pushed the first set aside and pulled out the other. 

JAMES B BARNES

32557038 T42 43 A

I put the second set into my pocket without a word and wished I could tell her everything. I knew this was her way of reminding me that she understood that James was important to me and I would never be able to show her how much I appreciated that. 

“I'm going to start some breakfast, when your done I could use a hand. Hopefully the smell of bacon will be enough to wake up our guests.” I left her to finish getting ready, I went back to my room to find a place for the tags where they would be safe and change into presentable clothes before running a brush through my hair, pulling it into a high ponytail. 

I started bacon in one pan and for the sake of efficiency made scrambled eggs in the other. Fin eventually joined me, throwing together some drop biscuits and putting them in the oven as Cap walked in.

“Morning.” he smiled, “Sam is awake, he’s...I left him in the bathroom splashing water on his face. He was mumbling so I just left him.” 

“I'll be right back.” I excused myself, finding Sam with his face in the bathroom sink. I pulled a towel out of the linen closet and passed it to him. “take a shower, it will help. There will still be breakfast when you’re done.”

“coffee?” he looked up at me.

“Always. Might even have some aspirin.” it was the best I could do, my abilities didn’t cover hangovers. 

“You’re an angel.”

I left him to it and heard the click of the front door being unlocked as I passed through the living room. I jogged down the stairs, catching the mailman leaving and I grabbed everything in the box before returning to the kitchen to find Fin and Cap laughing at something. She had taken over the cooking and he was leaning with his back against the counter to face her. He straightened when I walked in, unconsciously trying not to look too comfortable. I ignored them, sorting the mail at the island. Most of it was junk, a few bills from companies that hadn't grasped the concept of digital, but there were also postcards. They were all postmarked the same day, no notes just the apartment address in an untidy hand and an X as a signature. The first was from the Smithsonian, a picture of the howling commandos WWII exhibit on the front. The next was of the boardwalk at Coney Island and the last was from Fort McCoy. I couldn't help but smile, there were other scents all over them but I could still smell James under them all. Turns out I didn't need to ask where he had been, he was sending me breadcrumbs...one postcard at a time.

  
  


**[Fin - 08:47 July 5th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

Breakfast was eaten, polite conversation was had. Eventually Sam emerged, following the smell of coffee and bacon to civilization. He was less talkative this morning but seemed to be in good spirits. My shower had helped knock off most of the lingering effects of the norse mead but my head still felt fuzzy, I had planned to go down to the gym and sweat the rest out of my system but I'd gotten side tract talking to Cap about Charlie Chaplin. When Elena and Sam joined us it just seemed rude to get up and leave the room. Cap noticed the postcards Elena had tucked under her plate and asked who they were from, she said they weren't signed which I'm sure was true and she changed the subject before he could follow up. I had expected her to steer him away from the topic, what I hadn't anticipated was how.

“So, Steve. I noticed your shield in Fin’s room this morning. How’d that get there?” I inhaled so sharply I nearly choked on a piece of bacon. His face turned pink and I stood so fast I almost knocked over my chair. I threw my dishes in the sink and started to walkout, trying to escape the whole awkward situation.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked, chuckling at my flight response. 

“I'm going to hide in the basement until I die.” I announced as I left. I heard the scraping of chair legs on the floor and thought Elena was coming to stop me.

“Come on, don’t leave!” Sam called before Cap called to me from the sink.

“Need company?” I couldn't say no, he was trying to escape the Sam interrogation too.

“Only if you're willing to let me hit you.” I grinned. 

“Please! I need the practice. Civilian life is killing me.” He sighed.

“Amen.”

  
  


**[Steve- 08:58 July 5th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

_ Kiss with a fist - Florence + the Machine _

I watched her braid her hair before climbing into the low sparring ring, we'd been here before and the last time she had tapped out after I had inadvertently given her an emotional beating. 

“Is it strange that I feel like I need to fight you to properly make up for the drunk emotional unloading that happened last night?” 

“Is having a conversation with me really that bad?” I asked as she started bouncing on the mat impatiently.

“Don't take it personally, Cap. I don't like talking about things with anyone.”

“Not even Elena?”

“Some stuff” I shrugged. “She will usually come down here with me and distract me with a fight to get me to talk. I had a therapist for a while, but...turns out he was hydra so…Doesn’t matter. I’m just bad at sharing.”

“Unless you’re drinking or hitting the person you’re talking to?”

“Pretty much, Cap.”

“Why do you always do that?” I asked, sounding a bit dejected, even to myself.

“Do what?” she cocked her head to the side in confusion.

“You always call me cap…Always.“ I answered by stepping in front of her and adopting a boxer's stance.

She paused for a minute as though deciding what else she should call me before she tapped my fists lightly with hers and said

“Well, come on then.”

“Ladies first.” I insisted.

She didn't have to be told twice she started swinging. I didn't think she was putting her full effort into it and I blocked her fairly easily.

“Come on cap, if I just wanted to punch something I would have hung the bag.” I felt my cheeks flush in frustration and I swung at her torso where I knew she would be able to block without a problem, we traded soft blows and sweeping blocks, every movement landing a little harder than the last. 

“That's more like it”, she smiled before dropping into a low leg sweep. I hadn't been ready for it and I fell to my side with a thud. 

“Come on, get up” she coaxed, “gotta be faster than that!”

I took my time, rolling onto my front as though I was trying to get my feet back under me. She didn't notice that I had put all my weight on my left arm and I reached out with my right, grabbing her by the ankle and yanking her down with me. She hit hard and her whole body started shaking with laughter. She rocked her weight into her shoulders and jumped up, landing softly on her feet.

“Who knew America’s poster child fought so dirty!” She giggled. 

I got to my feet and rolled my neck. Yea doll, I thought to myself, Captain America fights fair but Steve learned to fight in back alleys. 

I swung at her with my left and when she moved to dodge I grappled with my right, I missed my goal but caught her arm under my bicep when she tried to counter strike. I held it there. She pulled to no avail and looked up at my face. Her eyes met mine for just a moment and she smiled a predatory smile before dropping her weight suddenly.

I hadn't expected the downward movement and bent at the waist, automatically trying to follow the momentum, as I did she kicked off the mat , her lower body swinging up as her inside leg hooked my neck and the redistribution of weight took us both to the ground. I landed with my weight on top and my neck in the back of her knee, I didn't give her time to gain control of the grapple, I pushed forward bringing the bulk of my body mass over her center of gravity and reducing her range of motion. I stayed there, her leg pinned under me, my face inches from hers. I could feel her quick shallow breath on my face and something tightened in my chest. I let her up. She stood with me and without a moment's hesitation her right fist shot out, I caught her wrist in my hand. Her left followed and I caught it too. She was getting tired, she had gone to hard to fast in the beginning and it was hurting her now. She tried to kick, I held her at arms length and they didn't connect. I pulled my hands to either side of my head and she crashed into me with a quiet oomph of exhalation.

I didn't have a firm hold, she could have taken a few steps back, but she didn't. She just looked up at me. She was breathing hard and I told myself it was from sparring, the same reason her pulse was racing under my fingertips. I couldn't quit looking at her face. I’d always known she was pretty but I hadn’t let myself just look at her before. I’d tried to keep it professional between us when I was her boss, but now Shield didn’t even exist. We were just two people with a surprising amount in common. I let go of her wrists, my hands sliding up her arms and down her back when I heard her say something and my attention refocused. It was quiet and breathy but it had been clear.

I slowly leaned my face closer, my nose brushing hers. I gave her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted. She didn't.

“Say that again.” I whispered and her hands rested on my shoulders, she didn't move away. 

“...Steve…”

I smiled and closed the space between us. My lips touched hers, not as gently as I had intended and I felt her sharp inhale as her body rose against my chest. Her fingertips moving to brush my jaw. I held her tight against me, afraid to let her go. Afraid she would decided it was too much and run. I didn't want her to think it was too much, I didn't want her to run. I wanted to keep her here with me and I wanted to know why it waited so long to do something about it.

  
  


**[Elena - 09:33 July 5th, 2014 - BROOKLYN]**

I kept checking my phone, I wasn’t really expecting anything but that didn’t stop me from looking at the screen every few minutes with the feeling that I'd missed something. I’d gone months with no word and hadn’t thought much of it, past worrying about him, but now that he’d made contact I was eager for more. I kept telling myself not to initiate the conversation, i’d promised to let him have his space and I would respect that. It was just so hard knowing he was only a phone call away. I looked over the postcards, desperate for any more information. I did realize the significance of each card. The smithsonian had given him information on Steve and himself, he’d trained at McCoy, and he’d grown up in Brooklyn. A chill went up my spine, thinking that he’d been in Brooklyn at some point. He’d been so close and I hadn’t known, had he come here? He had the address to the house. Did he go by Steve’s old building looking for a memory only to find a new complex built over the old? Had he gone looking for specific places from his childhood only to see them gentrified? All the things that I wanted to ask him and that I wish I could help him with. I gave up looking at the cards and my text inbox for information that wasn’t there. I would just have to wait. 

I excused myself from the kitchen, leaving Sam to read the news on his phone as he sipped his third cup of coffee. I took a shower and got dressed, trying to go about my morning routine despite our guests. I stood under the hot water for a long time, trying to think about nothing and failing miserably. Instead I tried to think of what Fin and I could do today to keep her from going stir crazy. Part of me hoped that Cap would wear her out on the sparring mat and when they left she would be able to relax and enjoy the day but another part of me hoped they would stick around a while. I loved Fin but it was nice to have other people to talk to every now and then. 

When I got out of the shower, dressed and combed out my hair I thought I heard my phone vibrate. I glanced at it, not seeing any new messages and continued to blow dry my hair. I finished putting on minimal makeup and brushing my hair before I looked again out of habit at this point. Still no messages but the notifications showed i’d gotten an email. I opened the app, expecting junk to be deleted and saw an unknown email address in the from column. I almost deleted it as spam but I realized that the name read like one of the randomly generated name number combos that one gets when you couldn’t think of a good address on your own. I clicked it, praying it wasn’t laden with viruses, especially now that the SHIELD IT department was no more. 

‘Elena,

I find that long form writing is more in my comfort zone that I would have thought. Writing it on this device is something I will need to get used to but this is still easier for me than the short messages back and forth, I hope this is okay. 

I’ve spent some time traveling, looking for answers, and while I have not found as many as I have questions for, I have started to remember. Sometimes things come in flashes while I'm walking down a street I've walked down before. Sometimes I dream of things that seem too real to be dreams, although sometimes those things seem too good to be real and I'm still trying to sort them out. 

I’m trying to learn more about the man called Captain America. I’ve learned some things about him from books and museums and history but the things in my own mind are more elusive. Small things have surfaced, feelings more than memories and although I don’t remember why I know I trust him. 

I have the same feeling about you. 

I want you to know that while I do not fully trust the technology you’ve given me, I know first hand how easily I can be tracked by this little piece of plastic, I do trust you as an asset and a friend. I know you said we were more once, and I believe you are telling the truth but until I remember for myself I hope you are alright with this starting point. I appreciate that you are there if I need something, an answer or help, and I am sorry if offering such things puts you in a difficult position with the situation at hand. I do not know when I might have the opportunity to fix the wrongs i’ve done or even begin to repay you for everything you have done for me. In this life or in the lives I can’t remember. 

Yours,

James Buchanan Barnes

(P.S. I hope you got my postcards.)’

  
  


I read the email over and over again, memorizing every word and trying to read between the lines. I thought about how I would respond and briefly realized this probably was more familiar to him. Sure email was a new concept but letter writing was not. 

I made my way into the living room, Sam had moved to the couch at some point and I sat in the adjacent chair, reading the email on my phone again ever though I practically knew it by heart at this point. I heard laughing and chatter as Fin and Steve emerged from sparring, cheeks flushed from the exertion, although neither of them seemed to have broken a sweat. 

“So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day Cap?” Sam sat up. “ We can’t intrude on these ladies any more, is there someplace nice in Brooklyn we can take them out to repay them for their hospitality?”

“Well…” Fin started and I shot her a glance. 

“It’s not even Thursday Fin.” I started to argue before she’d even said the name, not that I minded going but there WERE other restaurants in the city. 

“I wouldn’t mind going to Frank’s again.” Steve interjected. “Even if it’s just a normal day.”

“If I would have known that taking you once meant you were going to gang up on me I would have never let you come.” I teased, narrowing my eyes at him. 

“Are you going to sing again?” He asked Fin, her cheeks colored. 

“Depends. Are you going to walk up to the stage and make it awkward again?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Awkward is my specialty.” He grinned and I couldn’t help but notice they’d gone back to their usual flirty banter. I was glad to have something back to normal.

  
  


**[Fin - 12:02 July 5th, 2014 - FRANK’S]**

_ Creep - PMJ Feat. Haley Reinhart _

Frank’s was slow when we arrived, it usually was for lunch considering the live music didn’t start until the dinner hours but I still loved the atmosphere and the food. We ordered and I put about twenty dollars in the Jukebox, playing a variety of songs from the 30s and 40s. Sam asked a lot of questions about what was so special about this place and Steve did a good job fielding them as Elena and I ate. I listened to The Andrews Sisters belting out boogie-woogie bugle boy as I sat with my friends, looking around the table at them and realizing that all things considered I had it pretty good. Sure the career i’d been building toward for the past decade was gone, but the reasons I'd wanted to do the job in the first place hadn’t changed. Hell, one of them was sitting next to me. Sam got to his feet as ‘Maybe’ by the inkspots started crooning. He held out his hand to Elena. 

“May I have this dance?” He offered, formally. 

“Sorry...I don’t really dance.” She declined politely, her eyes darting to her phone and back. 

“Why not?” He asked, sitting back down and shoving a french fry in his mouth. Elena hesitated before answering with a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. 

“I’m only good at it when I have the right partner.” She shrugged. “You’re not him.”

“She’s right.” Steve backed her up with a smile, his eyes searching Elena’s face for a moment before he continued. “A friend told me that once. Every girl he convinced to dance with me got her toes stepped on. He said it wasn’t my fault, they weren’t the right partner for me.”

He stood and turned to me, the song moved into  _ ‘I can’t get started’ _ as he took my hand and pulled me to my feet. 

“I don’t…” I started to protest, I didn’t really dance either. Being homeschooled and not growing up with many chances at social interaction hadn’t given me much life experience at these kinds of things. He walked me out to the center of the empty dance floor, putting a hand on my waist and holding mine in the other. 

“I promise not to step on your toes.” He smiled again and I laid my free hand on his shoulder as we swayed back and forth to the music. When the song ended he didn’t let me go, instead we kept moving as the next song began and he started laughing. 

“What?” I didn’t know what was so funny and considering I already felt exposed in our current position I didn’t like being in the dark about it. 

“The first time I heard you singing, it was this song.” He shook his head in disbelief. I was confused, I hadn’t sung this song that night at Frank’s or any other. He must have seen my confusion because he went on to explain. ”It was not long after the New York incident, I came into the showers to hear some canary belting out somewhere over the rainbow like it was her job. I didn’t know who she was at the time, but I knew she had great taste in music.”

I felt my face grow hot and I pulled my hand from his to cover my face and bury it against his chest. His hands rested on my waist and I felt him chuckling under my palms.

“Oh my god.” I realized how stupid I was and slapped his shoulder lightly. “I can’t believe that was you. I should have known that no man born in this era would have known who Lena Horne was.”

“I just wish it hadn’t taken me over a year to figure out...I kept going back to those showers to try and run into her...er,you.”

“We left for Russia the next morning with Nat. Kinda hard to stalk a girl when she flees the country.” I teased. 

“I was not stalking.”

“I mean...if we’re being honest you DID show up in Russia.” I laughed.

“And that would be way more creepy if I'd known it was you I was looking for.”

“What would you have done?” I looked down at his shirt to avoid eye contact, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “If you’d known it was me?”

“I can’t say. I didn’t know you then, or have you on my team. You knew who I was, you would have had to weigh the options of doing on a date with me vs working with me. If I had made a move what would you have done?” I shrugged. 

“I can’t say.” I repeated his words. Smiling up at him. 

“Can’t or won’t.”

“Both.” I grinned. 

“What about now?”

“What about it?”

“What if I asked you now?”

“Asked what now?” I teased, putting on her best naive face. 

“Fin…” he cleared his throat. ”would you like to go on a date? With me.”

“Yes, I would like that...Steve.” not calling him cap was going to take some getting used to...but I supposed I could.

  
  


**[Elena - 12:12 July 5th, 2014 - FRANK’S]**

“Do they realize the music stopped?” Sam asked. I was just watching the pair sway back and forth to silence, watching them laugh and feeling a pang of envy that I made myself brush off. Just because the person I wanted to dance with wasn’t here didn’t mean I couldn't be happy for Fin. Or for Steve for that matter, they both deserved a little happiness in their lives. 

“Shhh, don’t ruin it.” I shushed him. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. 

“You guys are weird.” My phone buzzed and I answered quickly, the number was familiar but I hadn’t been expecting any contact from it, not anytime soon anyway. “I bet if he was here you’d dance with him.” My grumpy company added with a nod to my phone. I knew what he meant, he’d been watching me text back and forth during dinner and had asked me about it over breakfast. I told him it was a friend and he’d teased me about if it was a friend that was a boy. When I'd neglected to answer he said it must be the case since I wasn’t wanting to talk about it. 

“You would be correct, I would dance with him. But that wasn’t ‘him’ it was Agent Hill, she wants us to come to the tower.”

“Did she say why?” He perked up, suddenly interested.

“No she didn’t...i’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing honestly.” I admitted. 

“Let’s hope good. I’m not sure I can take much more bad.”

“Me neither.” I looked out at the dance floor. “So do you want to interrupt that or should I?”

He followed my gaze, his face softening a little as he did, despite his previous protests. 

“Maybe we can give them another minute…”


	3. Running

**[Steve - 13:32 July 5th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

I hadn’t been ready to leave Frank’s, part of me was convinced I was still sleeping off Thor’s mead and I thought I would wake up if we left. I didn’t, it had all been real and I wouldn't admit it to Sam but being at the house with Elena and Fin and just being talked to like a person, doing boring things like eating dinner at a table and go out to lunch...It’s the most normal I'd felt since losing Bucky the first time. The thought sent a pang through my gut, I shouldn’t be having a good time feeling normal, I should be out looking for him.

“Good afternoon. Everyone is waiting for you on the main floor. I will let them know you have arrived.” Jarvis greeted us as the door to the tower opened to let us in. 

“Thanks Jarvis.” Elena answered before the elevator closed, taking us up before anyone had to select a button. I was starting to get used to the automated technology that was jarvis and the tower but sometimes I missed being able to do things myself. How hard was it to push an elevator button?

I heard Thor laughing as we approached, I hadn’t realized he was back and wondered how long that had been the case.

“It’s about damn time.” Tony said by way of greeting. “What took you so long?”

“It only took an hour Tony, If I’d been in D.C. you’d still be waiting.” I pointed out. 

“If you’d been in D.C. I would have sent a faster car to pick you up.” He quipped. 

“If I still had Lola we could have been here forty minutes ago.” Fin added.

“Lola?” I didn’t know who lola was, how she could get us anywhere fast or why she was gone.

“Coulson’s car.” Elena explained, adding. “His flying car.”

“I never knew he had a flying car…” Tony looked hurt. 

“Yeah, she disappeared though. Haven’t seen her since New York.” Fin shrugged. “You know if you build me a new one it would really help commute time.”

“I might have to look into that.” Tony grinned. 

“Just do a better job than Howard...i saw his flying car prototype.” I smiled, remembering going to the fair with Bucky and watching the car hover before breaking and crashing into the stage. 

“Speaking of being a better engineer than my father. You, flyboy. I have something for you.” He pointed to Sam, walking past him and reaching behind the couch. 

“I’m going to choose whether or not to let that go based on what you have.”

“Good call” Tony pulled out a hard case backpack and tossed it to Sam. “Maria told me about losing your wings. I found the designs and took the liberty of making you some better ones.”

“No shit?” Sam held the bag, looking at Tony open mouthed in disbelief. 

“No shit. “ Tony nodded. “Can’t have you grounded if you’re going to be part of the team.”

“Team?” I asked. No one had really talked about what S.H.I.E.L.D. falling meant for us and I realized that most of the ‘Avengers’ were doing the work before the agency got involved...so why not after. I looked around at the room as Tony wandered to his bar, I saw Nat and Barton talking to Thor on the other side of the room, Nat nodded when she saw me looking.

“Just because S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone, doesn’t mean the Avengers have to stop saving the world.” Tony poured himself a drink and I focused my attention. “What do you say Cap?”

“It’s a nice idea, but who’s going to pick the missions? Point us in the right direction?”

“Well Maria agreed to do the legwork on recon and info...spy stuff.” I noticed Agent Hill for the first time, sitting on one of the leather chairs across the living room. “But I was pretty much thinking the heavy lifting in that area would be...well, you.” he grinned. 

“Me? Why?” I didn’t know if I wanted to be in charge, or if Tony would even listen to me if I was. Leading a small team under the umbrella of a larger corporation was one thing, but operating independently? That’s another story. Not to mention I had other priorities at the moment. At that thought I kicked myself for not going by my old neighborhood while Sam and I were in Brooklyn. I’d checked before, thinking Bucky might have gone there with no luck but I should have checked again. 

“The way I look at it, you’re the most qualified.” He shrugged. 

“How do you figure?” I asked. 

“Raise your hand if you’ve even commanded a team in a tactical or military mauver.” Fin requested, stepping up beside me. Thor raised his hand and when I didn’t she stepped beside me and put it in the air for me. 

“See, Thor is just as qualified.” I gestured to the large blonde man who’d been uncharacteristically quiet. 

“I cannot. I will gladly fight alongside you again but I have responsibilities that I cannot put aside for the needs of Earth.” He bowed his head, acknowledging me.

“All those in favor of Cap making moral decisions for the group?” Tony asked. A chorus of ‘Aye’ rose in response. “I guess that’s settled then. I’ll be second in command obviously, being the one funding this little misadventure.”

“Fine.” I conceded. “I assume since we’ve all been summoned here that there’s a mission on the table.”

“Yes and no.” Tony waved at Thor to explain and Nat and Barton followed him over to us.

“Loki’s staff is still on midgard, however Heimdall can no longer see where. I need to recover the staff before it falls into the wrong hands.”

“If it’s being hidden from you, I think it’s safe to say it’s already in the wrong hands...which makes it more important that we get it back.” Fin pointed out. “How is your brother by the way?” she asked through a gritted smile. 

“He is dead.” Thor answered flatly. Everyone was quiet for a time, unsure what to say until Fin broke the silence. 

“I’m sorry I asked, but I can’t say I'm sorry to hear it.” 

“I’m sorry it wasn’t you, Daughter of Phil.” Thor smiled weakly. “At least that would have been a good death.”

“So, any idea how to get the staff back?” I turned the subject back to the topic at hand. 

“Yes. Heimdall has seen one thing in his searches.” He pulled out a folded piece of parchment, laying it flat on the table. An all too familiar skull looked back at me. 

“Hydra.” I heard Fin whisper beside me. 

“Good news there, I have some leads.” Maria laid several files on the table, covering the paper. “Where do you want to start?”

  
  


**[Elena - 17:43 July 5th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

We spent a few hours going over the information Maria had managed to gather since S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. I was honestly surprised at how much there was, given the circumstances. We had the locations of several hydra bases, peppered all over this country and others. We had no way of telling which one the scepter may be in or what we would be up against but we did have general size and estimated number of bodies at each location. Tony admitted that once the company fell he MAY have hacked into some satellites, planning to repurpose them, but Maria insisted they be put to their intended use. Spying on the enemy. 

After a long discussion about the virtues of patience we decided that going after the smallest target first made the most sense, seeing that it might reveal information on the other bases and some insight on how to go about this process in the least destructive way. Thor was a little disappointed at the decision but he wouldn't have to live with the consequences if we went in unprepared and destroyed civilians. 

At some point, much to Fin and I’s chagrin, it was determined that the best course of action would be for everyone to stay in Avengers Tower until the mission, to keep abreast of the situation and to refresh everyone on each other's particular skill sets. I couldn’t argue that training together was probably a good idea before going into the field but I wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of an indefinite sleepover at Tony’s place. 

We negotiated one more night at home to pack our bags, Tony insisted that he could just buy us all new clothes but Maria let him know that was creepy so he conceded. Sam was nice enough to go out of his way to take Fin and I home before driving back to D.C. with Steve to do some packing of their own.

“How long do you think we will be there?” I heard Fin shout from inside her closet. 

“Couple of weeks? A month maybe? I think if it’s more than that we’re going to have to negotiate terms.” I was basically trying to fit half of my closet into a suitcase. I wasn’t a very material person but I didn’t feel like wearing the same seven tee shirts on rotation in a place where the owner probably hadn’t worn the same suit twice in his life. 

“What are you packing?” Fin popped her head into my room. “I don't know what to pack.”

“Why are you asking me? I don’t know!” I laughed as she plopped into the floor beside me. 

“Are you packing a bathing suit?”

“No...why?” 

“I mean...Tony has a pool, and a hot tub, and a sauna…”

“Alright...I guess I will pack one in the unlikely event that we take advantage of that.”

“What about fancy clothes?”

“Why would I need fancy clothes?” I closed my eyes and exhaled, this was getting complicated and I was starting to regret not letting Tony just buy us new stuff as we needed it. 

“I don't know” She shrugged. “He throws a party like once a week and they are always black tie.”

“If he throws a party I will make him buy us new dresses. Just pack whatever normal clothes you would normally wear and any tactical gear that isn’t standard. I know he has most of the gear we need already.”

She stayed sitting on the floor, watching me fold things and tuck them into the bag. 

“Can you help me pack when you’re done? I’m really not good at this...I’ve never had to pack a bag for anything that wasn’t a mission…”

“You packed for Wakanda, that wasn’t a tactical mission.” I reminded her. 

“That doesn’t count, you gave me a check list.” 

“Right…” I sighed. “I’ll be in there in a little bit. Go make sure there isn’t anything in the kitchen that needs to be tossed before we go. I don’t want to come home to spoiled milk smell”

“Can do! Thanks!”

She jumped up, bounding into the other room. I couldn't help but laugh as I wondered if Fin had realized we’d just signed up for a long term supervised sleepover party with everyone. One of the reasons she and I got along so well is that we both enjoyed our alone time and I wasn’t sure how much of that we would be able to get in the tower. 

I opened the top drawer to start packing socks and underwear when my fingers brushed the stack of postcards stashed there. I hadn’t gotten a response from my email and wondered if he’d read it yet. Another thought occurred to me and I picked up my phone, calling Avengers Tower directly. Jarvis answered, as usual. 

“Good evening Ma’am. How is packing going? Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Packing is going as well as can be expected on short notice.” I smiled, I didn’t care if he wasn’t real, Jarvis was always a pleasure to talk to. “I do need a favor. Would you be able to make sure that our mail is forwarded to the tower from the Sunset Park house while we are there? I don’t want to miss anything that might come for us. 

“Of course, I should have taken care of that already. I will call Captain Rogers and Mr. Wilson to offer them the same services. Thank you.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

“It’s my pleasure, Elena.”

“Elena!” I hung up the phone in time to hear Fin shouting at me from the kitchen. 

“What!” I shouted back, walking toward the kitchen. I walked in to see a pile of boxes on the island. “Fin, what in the…”

“Good news and bad news. Good news, no perishables in the fridge to speak of. We ate all of them yesterday.”

“Bad news?”

“Bad news, while I was looking in the cabinets I found out that all of this is going to expire at the end of the month.” She gestured to the boxes and I realized they were all various types of cookies. I vaguely recalled seeing them in the back of the walk in pantry but never thought much of it. They’d been there since before Coulson died. 

“Well I guess we are just going to have to bring them to the sleepover to share.” 

“Hey guys, we’re back and we brought 97 boxes of cookies!” Fin joked. 

“Who doesn’t like cookies? It’s a peace offering. At the very least we will get some peace and quiet when the sweet binge puts everyone into a diabetic coma.” I offered. “Come on, let’s get you packed.”

  
  


**[Bucky - 07:16 July 6th, 2014]**

_ Running - Delta Spirit _

James,

I did get the postcards, they were lovely and I would appreciate it if you would keep them coming. I will look forward to every one and hope that one day you can tell me about each place. As for this form of communication, I am alright with whatever you are most comfortable with, as long as I hear from you. I know you probably don’t understand why anyone would worry about you, you are capable of taking care of yourself, but it won’t keep me from worrying all the same. 

On the topic of my worrying, I thought this might be helpful. 

38.63383,-90.200446 - Pray

34.913466,-108.485488 - E Fork 

35.444873,-108.446520 - hollow rock

40.695355,-73.993947 - cornerstone

43.0994,-90.1353 - Dead Pipes

36.3452, -93.7547 - glass tree

These are some of the dead drops we have hidden around, if you need them. If it’s not enough, I can send more, all you have to do is ask. 

I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything, in my mind you don’t. But you owe it to yourself to remember who you were and who you are, remember what happened and get past it so you can live your life. All I want is the chance to be part of it when you get there. I’m glad you trust me and Captain Rogers, it’s a good start and the only part of helping you that’s difficult for me is hiding it from him. He is one name on a very short list of people that I trust explicitly and keeping things from him is something I don’t do lightly. That being said, I know if I told him he would want to come to you straight away. I understand why he would, he worries about you too, but I also understand that someone else telling you who and what you are is the last thing you need. 

I hope to hear from you soon.

Elena 

  
  


I hadn’t expected a response so soon, I understood this wasn’t the same as putting a stamp on a letter and sending it through post but it had still surprised me. I liked talking to her like this, it felt familiar somehow and that was welcome in this time when very little gave me that. 

I read over the coordinates she’d given, trying to figure out which would be the closest to my current location and whether or not I wanted to risk going to them. I didn’t think that she would set a trap for me but I couldn’t be sure who else might know about these drops. One of the dead drops was in Wisconsin, it wasn’t close but it was the easiest to get to from where I was and I could take my time getting there. I wasn’t hurting for money at the moment, apparently if you dressed in clothes that didn’t fit, didn’t shave or wash your hair and slept on the street you had the potential to wake up with money left under a rock near you. It happened twice now and while I was unsure why or how it kept happening I knew better than to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth. 

I felt the cash in my pocket alongside the growing stack of postcards, I planned to mail them when I'd gotten to ten but decided to wait until after I'd secured the first drop. I wanted to send a card from there so she would know that I'd found it without having to tell her directly. I didn’t know why but the idea of her tracking my movements from after the fact excited me, like a kid leaving a trail of food and knowing something would eventually follow him home. It didn’t make sense, wanting her to know where I'd been, it went against every instinct I had screaming at me to run and hide. Nagging at me and reminding me that the fastest way for someone to know where you are is to know where you were. 

I wasn’t concerned. If someone was going to find me, let it be her. 


	4. Under my Skin

**[Steve - 07:32 July 29th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

We’d been in the tower for weeks, planning and training. It was nice to have purpose again but the communal nature of everyone in one place was still taking some getting used to. I felt like I hadn’t had a moment alone with anyone since we’d arrived and while that usually wouldn’t bother me, I wanted time with Fin. I was getting to spend time with her, there was no question there, she was cooped in the tower, the same as me but Fin was a different person when she was alone. Not that she wasn’t herself when she was around people, but she was more guarded, even around people she trusted. In the current living situation I was having trouble just having a private conversation with her, the idea of getting away without an inquisition seemed impossible. 

Elena walked into the kitchen, I watched the hall behind her waiting for Fin to follow and when she didn’t I jumped on the opportunity. 

“Hey, can I talk to you?” I whispered, standing beside her as she made a cup of coffee. 

“Sure. What’s up?” 

“I need to get out of here...for a few hours. I was wondering if you would be able to cover for me?” She looked over the rim of her mug at me, raising a questioning eyebrow. 

“You know you aren’t being held captive, you are allowed to leave.” She answered seriously. 

“I know, but I don’t want anyone to try to figure out where I went...or try to go with me.” I exhaled. “And I'm going to need your help when I get back.”

“I’m not sure I like suspiciously sneaky Cap the day before we’re going into the field... What’s going on?” 

“It’s nothing...i just.” I looked around to make sure no one else had entered the room, I was glad Elena and I were early risers. “I asked Fin on a date.”

“She may have mentioned it.” Elena smiled. I started to ask what was said but I knew my time was limited. 

“I would like to make good on that, but it’s been hard to get her alone to talk about it. Someone is always with her.” 

“You can’t blame them, it’s the most time they’ve gotten to spend with her since Coulson died and they all loved him.”

“I know, I don’t blame them for wanting to spend time with her.”

“But you do.” She answered me with a grin and I felt my ears get hot with embarrassment.

“I do. Can you get her to the third floor at eight? I’ve worked everything out with Jarvis.”

“What’s even on the third floor?” I saw her going through the building in her head, no one really ventured below the common rooms and gym unless Tony called us down to look at something he was working on. If it wasn’t for Jarvis I would have never known what Tony was hiding. 

“Tony has a private movie theater down there. Jarvis told me when I asked...I asked him for date ideas.” I waited for her to comment but she refrained. “He said Tony built it to take Pepper because she hated going with him to theaters because they never got any privacy.” Elena didn’t seem surprised at the news.

“What are you going to watch?” She asked and I realized that I hadn’t picked a movie. 

“I’m not sure yet, but I'll figure it out.” 

“I’ll have her there.” she agreed and I started to leave the room. 

“Just a heads up, if you hurt her they won’t find your body this time.” She said it calmly before I was out of earshot, I kept walking. 

“Thanks!” 

  
  


**[Elena - 10:12 July 29th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

“Hey, is Steve around?” Sam’s voice echoed in the large empty room, everyone had gone down to the gym and I'd decided to stay in the main living area to read. I needed some quiet but apparently today was the day for conversations. 

“He’s out doing something or other, he let me know when he left but didn’t say where he was going.”

“Good. I wanted to talk to you.” He sat down beside me and I closed the book, silently promising to get back to it as soon as possible. 

“What’s up?” I asked with a flash of Deja vu.

“I wanted to know what you thought about this Winter Soldier thing. Steve wants to go after him, which I get they were buddies and he wants to help, but I’m not sure he can split his attention. He needs to be focused on what we’re doing, not going through the motions while he is really thinking about where to look for this guy.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” I asked, trying to keep my face neutral as my hands went to the tags I'd taken to wearing under my shirt when we moved into the tower.

“Sort of.” he shrugged. “I told him we need to stop looking until after we clear out the hydra problem. Or at least until we get this weapon thing recovered.”

“Seems reasonable. What did he say?”

“He said he wants to look in between missions, he doesn’t want leads to go cold.”

“He has leads?” I hoped I didn’t sound too enthusiastic with my question. 

“I’m not sure if it’s anything concrete, he isn’t talking to me about it which is why I'm concerned.”

“Maybe he isn’t talking to you about it because he knows you don’t want him to do it?” I ventured a guess. It was met with another shrug. 

“You don’t think that’s what he’s doing right now do you? If it is he shouldn’t have gone alone.”

“He didn’t say, but I'm sure he wouldn’t do something like that by himself. If it makes you feel better i’ll talk to him.”

“It would actually. I...I’m comfortable calling him on his shit but I'm not about to get between him and Barnes.”

“Smart move.” 

  
  


**[Steve - 12:58 July 29th, 2014 - WASHINGTON D.C.]**

I’d been parked outside of the building for twenty minutes, trying to talk myself into it and going through the potential conversation in my head over and over. No matter how much I think I prepared myself for it I knew I wouldn't be able to predict her reaction. 

When I left the tower I'd driven out of my way to Brooklyn heights, determined to wander the streets I'd grown up on for any sign that Bucky had come back there. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but I didn’t see it. I’d thought about him the rest of the drive to D.C. and still didn’t know where else to look for him by the time I'd reached the parking lot. The files I had on him told me where he’d been and what he’d been through but I didn’t know where he would go now.

I got off the bike, determined to do what i’d come here for as I walked up the stairs and through the front door. A woman at the front desk greeted me with a smile, recognizing me. 

“Good afternoon. She’ll be happy to see you.”

“Is she having a good day?” I asked hopefully, I wanted to have a very specific conversation and it would be hard to do it if she wasn’t herself. 

“She is now, her morning was off to a rough start but she’s been herself since lunch. You can go on back if you want.”

“Thank you.” I walked past the nurse’s desk to knock on the familiar door. 

“Come in.” A light feminine voice called from the other side. I let myself in, greeting her. 

“Hey Peg.” I smiled, she returned the expression and it lit up her face. 

“Steve.” She waved me into the room and I closed the door behind me before taking a seat. “What do I owe this pleasure? Don’t you have enough on your plate without visiting an old woman?” 

“Don’t say that Peg you--” I started to argue with the old woman bit but she cut me off. 

“Skip the flattery, I talked to Fin and she tells me that you are all staying with Tony and planning to take down Hydra.”

“We are.” I must have looked surprised because she laughed at my reactions. 

“What? You don’t think my niece talks to me? Or is that meant to be a secret?”

“It’s not a secret...I don’t think…”

“Well, regardless, we don’t have to talk about that. I had another question.” I waited, wondering if Fin had told Peggy about us and hoping she hadn’t. I wanted to be the one to talk to her about it, after all it was why I’d come. She pulled out a folded newspaper, handing it to me. “I wanted to know what you were planning to do about this.”

I looked at the paper in my hands, unfolding it to the page she was referring to. A blurry black and white snapshot of the Winter Soldier on the bridge in D.C. looked back at me. 

“His hair is longer but I would recognize Sgt. Barnes anywhere. How did this happen? What happened?”

“I wish I knew.” I handed the paper back to her with a sigh. “Best I’ve managed to figure out when he was captured Zola and redskull experimented on him, they were trying to recreate Eskine’s formula. Whatever they did to him it helped him survive the fall from the train...we didn’t even look for him…”

“We did!” She argued. “We sent a team to recover his body Steve, he was gone.”

“Because someone found him first and they brainwashed him into this.” I pointed at the photo. “He saved me, he didn’t have to but he did. He pulled me out of the river...I think part of him remembers who he was.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to find him...but I'm not sure where to start.”

“Then don’t, start I mean.” I started to argue but she held up a hand to stop me. “I don’t mean you shouldn’t look for him. I just mean that there are more pressing issues at the moment, or so I have heard, if you spend all of your energy looking for clues that aren’t there you’re only going to exhaust yourself. Work on one problem at a time and when a lead comes, follow it.”

“I’m not sure I can just put him on the back burner.”

“That’s what Fin said.” She patted my hand. “Yes , yes. We talk about you dear. Don’t look so surprised. She wants to help you find him, she said if it was Elena she would be just as frantic about finding her as you are him, but she’s worried you’re going to burn yourself out chasing dead ends.”

“She’s not wrong.” I ran a hand through my hair, I couldn't argue with it. I had just driven two hours out of my way to swing by my old neighborhood hoping to find him in the most obvious place. 

“She said she hasn't mentioned it to anyone because she is going to follow your lead regardless. But she’s concerned...she cares about you.” Peg smiled again, laying her hand on mine. I took it and squeezed her fingers. 

“I care about her.” I admitted, looking at her hand to avoid her face. “That’s why I came to see you.”

“Oh?” She didn’t sound surprised, she sounded like a woman who was trying not to say I told you so and when I looked up at her face she beamed at me. “Steve please, I’ve been trying to tell you to live your life since the first time you came to see me. I don’t want you to hold back because of what could have been. Lord knows I didn’t, it’s not healthy to live that way. All I ask is that you don’t hurt her. She’s more fragile than she lets on.”

“I’ve started to catch on to that.” I admitted, remembering her getting upset at the cemetery and crying on the roof on the fourth. “And Elena already threatened me so…”

“I’ve always liked that girl.” 

“You know, Elena took me to Frank’s a while back. Fin was singing.”

“Mmmm. Well i’m afraid it’s too late for you then. She’s lured you in with her siren song and you’re going to throw yourself into the sea to be with her...Although maybe don’t do it in a crashing plane this time.” She suggested her tone light but I heard the mild heartbreak in her voice. 

“I’m sorry Peg.” 

“Shh. Don’t do that. I don’t want you to be sorry, Steve. I want you to be happy.”

  
  


**[Fin - 20:03 July 29th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

_ **I’ve Got You Under My Skin - Ella Fitzgerald** _

Elena had been super cryptic when she told me to dress nice and go to the third floor at eight o’clock. I didn’t even know there was a third floor, I mean I knew it existed but I never paid it any attention. I’d been standing outside of the elevator for a couple of minutes, unsure what exactly I was doing here and deciding if I should start exploring when I saw the numbers on the elevator climbing. It stopped on three and the doors opened. 

“Sorry I'm late.” Steve stepped out into the hall beside me with a cardboard box in his hands. Whatever was inside smelled divine.

“If you give me some of what’s in that box I might forgive you.” My stomach growled as I peeked over the edge, seeing white chinese take out boxes. 

“Elena said your favorite take out was around the corner, full disclosure I had her place the order. I have no idea what any of this is.”

“Full disclosure? I’m not sure what half of it is but it tastes good.”

“Fair enough. Come on.” He started walking down the hall and I followed. “Jarvis, is everything ready to go?”

“Yes, sir. Please enjoy your evening.”

Jarvis opened a door and we walked in. One wall was a movie screen but the room wasn’t filled with theater seats, instead there were a handful of classic cars from various eras parked in two rows facing the screen. I scanned the rows; 1966 Shelby Cobra, 1963 Corvette Stingray, 1966 Mustang GT, and...those were just the ones I recognized off the bat. I even spotted a Porsche 550 Spyder painted to look like James Dean’s little bastard...hell knowing Tony it was the genuine article. 

“I thought you were hungry?” I pulled my attention off of the cars and looked toward the voice, I found Steve standing at the front of the room below the screen on a small raised stage. As I walked up I noticed that he’d laid out a blanket and unpacked the food, it was sweet and I was honestly relieved. The thought of eating in any of the cars in the room was giving me anxiety. “It’s so quiet…” I mumbled to myself more than anything, passing him a carton of sesame chicken to try. 

“….Jarvis? Music please.” 

“Right away sir.” The lights dimmed slightly and the screen lit up with a projection of the night sky as Ella Fitzgerald started singing ‘I've got you under my skin’ soft enough to talk over. 

“Elena helped Jarvis access your ipod.” He admitted sheepishly. 

“Elena plans a very nice date.” I observed, between the food and the music she was two for two and I was glad he’d asked her to help. 

“She only helped with those two things, the rest was Jarvis...so give him some credit.” He laughed. “In my defense it’s been a while since I had a reason to plan a date...and i’m pretty sure the last time it came up I just went along with whatever Bucky had planned. Come to think of it, I think the last date I went on was to see Tony’s dad make a presentation.”

“How was that?” 

“It did not go well.” he smiled down into his fried rice. 

“The date or the show?”

“If I remember correctly, both went down in flames.”

“Well...Her loss.” I smiled and he laughed out loud at the comment. 

“Oh yeah, I was a catch back then. All ninety pounds of me.”

“Were you still a smart ass?” I asked genuinely. He nodded, putting another bite of chicken in his mouth. “Were you still too stubborn for your own good?” 

“I think I may have actually been worse.” He admitted.

“Were you still adorably and infuriatingly self deprecating?” He didn’t answer, too distracted that I'd called him adorable...or possibly infuriating, it was hard to tell. “It’s not your fault that every woman in 1930’s Brooklyn was too stupid to get to know you. Like I said, their loss.” I was glad the lights had dimmed because I could feel my face getting hot as he looked at me, dumbfounded. My food somehow became extra interesting and I kept staring at it. We ate in silence for a while, neither of us sure where to take the conversation. When I started putting empty cartons back into the box he thought of something to say. 

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to laugh?” He prompted. 

“No. I don’t make promises I'm not sure I can keep.”

“Well...never mind then.” 

“That’s not fair!” I laughed “What if I promise to try REALLY hard not to laugh.” He eyed me with an expression that told me he was weighing his options. 

“Nope. Saving that for later.” 

“Such a tease!” I threw a fortune cookie at him. He caught it and threw it back

“I’ll get this.” He took the trash from me and continued picking up. “You go pick which car we’re sitting in for the movie.” I jumped to my feet, excited to get a more complete picture of Tony’s secret car collection. I walked past all the flashy sports cars and replicas of famous vehicles, I think there was at least one of every model Aston Martin in the left row, but there was one that had caught my eye on the way in. It wasn’t fancy compared to the others, it was just a forest green Packard but I recognized it from photos Peggy had shown me. It had been one of Howard’s cars when he lived in Los Angeles helping her establish S.H.I.E.L.D. and the 1938 convertible sedan looked as nice as the day it was built. I opened the rear passenger door and slid into the back seat, making sure we would still have a good view of the screen and not being surprised that everything had been laid out for optimal viewing. Sometimes Tony was little more than an overgrown spoiled rich kid, but I had to admit that I enjoyed being able to play with his toys. Steve found me leaning back comfortably in the car. 

“Why are you in the back?”

“Everybody knows you sit in the back seat at the Drive in. Besides, do you want the steering wheel in your lap the whole movie?”

“I didn’t think about it. Here,“ He tossed me a fortune cookie. “You forgot this.”

I usually ignored the fortune cookies since I wasn’t a huge fan of eating them and the fortunes were typically just some silliness. Coulson had always enjoyed them, when he got one that he liked he would keep it in his wallet, claiming it was lucky. I cracked mine open, careful not to get crumbs in the cushions. 

“What does yours say?” He asked as he slid onto the seat beside me. 

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything.” I read aloud. As far as fortune cookies go it wasn’t bad. I tucked it into my pocket, deciding to continue Coulson’s tradition. “What about yours?” He looked down at the tiny slip of paper and laughed. 

“The greatest danger could be your own stupidity.” I leaned to read it over his shoulder, he wasn’t kidding, it actually said that. 

“You should frame that.” I said flatly. 

“Hey!” He protested and I couldn’t help but laugh, we both knew he wasn’t stupid but he did do stupid things when he thought it was the right thing. 

“Or not!” I couldn’t stop giggling. “So are we watching a movie or did you want to go get more cookies to try to get a better fortune?”

“Movie. There’s popcorn too, if you want it, but I figured with all the food you’d want to wait.”

“If I decide I want some, I'll follow my nose.” I could smell the popcorn and remembered walking past an old school machine when we walked in, I assumed Jarvis was taking care of it for us. “So what movie did Jarvis decide we were watching.” I teased. 

“Jarvis did not pick the movie, and before you ask Neither did Elena. I picked it...with some help.”

“Whose help?” I was curious now, if it wasn’t Elena or Jarvis. His face told me that he didn’t want to say and I wondered if this had anything to do with his secret he didn’t want me to laugh at. “I promise not to laugh if you tell me.” I added, leaping to the assumption and hoping for the best. 

“I went to see Peggy today, that’s where I was all afternoon.” At first my brain didn’t follow the relevance of the sentence until I realized that he was telling me that she’d been the one to help him pick a movie. “She told me your top favorites to narrow it down, but wouldn’t help me pick one. I spent about an hour reading descriptions.”

“You drove all that way for her to help you pick a movie?” I pried, knowing that wasn’t the whole story. 

“No...I drove all that way because.” He exhaled, trying to find the right words. “I wanted to make sure that she was okay with this. Not that I needed her permission but...she’s your family. I didn’t want to start something with you that would be...complicated down the line.”

“What did she say? When you told her.” I wasn’t mad he’d gone to her, I was relieved. I talked to Peggy about everything but I'd been terrified to tell her about us being anything more than coworkers. I felt him shift where he sat, even in the oversized seat he seemed big in the space. 

“She said she wanted me to be happy, and told me not to hurt you ...which is actually the same thing Elena said to me when I asked her to help me with this but Peggy did it with less threats against my life.” He turned away from me and looked toward the screen as the opening credits started to roll. I kept my gaze on his face, profile silhouetted in the dim light. 

“Seems like everyone is very concerned about you hurting me Captain Rogers.” I watched his expression as I spoke, trying to hide the flutter of apprehension in the back of my mind. The small seed of doubt that this was actually happening. 

“Well, I certainly don’t intend to.” He whispered as his lips curled into a smile, even in the darkness, as he looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. 

  
  


**[Elena - 22:47 July 29th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

I heard Fin stumble into the room as she tripped over something. For someone with perfect scores on the stealth course she was really not great in everyday situations. 

“So.” I asked in the dark, not bothering to open my eyes. “What movie did he pick.”

“The Princess Bride. He’d never seen it...Peggy told him it was one of my favorites.” 

“Peggy?” I sat up, I was awake now. 

“He went to see her today, he wanted to tell her...about us.”

“How do you feel about that?” I asked as she changed into pajamas. 

“Relieved? I didn’t want to hide it from her and I'm glad I didn’t have to bring it up.”

“Good ...So, how was the date.” I knew if I didn’t ask I'd never know. 

“It was nice.” I could see her smiling as she crawled into bed. 

“Just nice?”

“Very nice. We ate dinner and watched the movie in the back of a 38 packard. He did the ‘pretend to stretch and put your arm around your date’ thing, which I didn’t even think was actually a thing, but apparently it is. It was...nice.”

“And?” God, getting information from her was like pulling teeth. Didn’t she realize I needed to live vicariously through her when it came to getting to go on an actual date?

“And what?” she yawned and I remembered that we had to be up early in the morning. 

“Did he make any other moves? Other than the stretching?”

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“So there was kissing then.” I laid back down, pulling the cover to my chin and trying to get comfortable again. 

“Just kissing.”

“And how was that?”

“Shut up.” She countered through a yawn. I didn’t argue.


	5. Fire and Ice

**[Steve - 12:06 July 30th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

“Nothing!” I threw the shield onto the floor and started pulling off the padded top layer of my suit with more force that was called for.. 

“Not nothing.” Natasha reassured me. “We got intel.”

“We THINK we got intel.“ I argued. We had gotten encrypted data files but for all we knew they were false leads or total garbage. I was mostly pissed that the base had been cleared before we’d arrived, which made me think they knew we were coming. 

“We’ll get something out of it, that’s why Thor and Tony stayed back. If they can figure out what tech they were using on that forcefield he can figure out how to disarm the next one so they won’t have time to run.” Elena joined ‘team talk down cap’ and I tried to take deep calming breaths. I didn’t need to take it out on them. 

“UGH!” I heard a crash from the other side of the room and saw that Fin had kicked the shelf that held her stuff hard enough to bend it. “HOW DID THEY GET AWAY!?” she angrily started unbuckling her shoulder harness before throwing it on to the bent shelf. 

“You two should really work on your anger issues.” Banner spoke up from the doorway, I hadn’t realized he’d arrived at the tower while we’d been gone. 

“Got any pointers?” I asked, stepping up to shake his hand. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too, Cap. Tony called from the field, said he could use another set of eyes on some tech. It’s the least I can do.”

“Well we’re glad to have you.” Nat added, laying a hand on his shoulder as she walked past him to leave the room. He watched her go. “If you’re back on the team we’re going to need to work on that lullaby!” I heard her shout from the hall.

“I’m hoping we won’t need it!” he yelled back. I didn’t ask, instead I finished changing into civilian clothes and went to see Maria. This mission was a bust in my books and I need to know there was another one on deck. She was talking before I'd even gotten all the way into her office. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t pick up the tech on the satellites. I should have been more thorough.”

“It’s too late for that now, what else have we got?” I scanned the maps laid out on the table, there were geo-markers but nothing indicating a solid lead. 

“Nothing yet. A couple of possible sightings that I'm following up on. I’m hoping whatever information we got today can confirm or rule out some locations. The leads Barton went to check on didn’t pan out.“ I slammed my fist on the table. 

“Sorry.” It wasn’t her I was mad at, we’d gone in expecting an easy target and they’d run before we’d gotten close. We underestimated them. “Anything on that other project?”

“No.” She lowered her voice. “There were a couple of tips called in but when I checked them out it wasn’t him. I’m sorry Steve.” She reached out a hand and patted my shoulder. It was less reassuring that she intended. 

“Thanks Hill. If anyone needs me i’ll be in the basement.” 

When I finally made it down there I found Fin in the light tanktop and compression shorts she wore under her tactical gear, beating the crap out of one of the Legion drones that Tony had padded and reprogrammed for us to train with. It was more of a workout than a punching bag, given that it could fight back and I watched as she swung her legs over it’s shoulders and used the momentum to bring it to the ground. Once it was down, she just kept hitting it where it’s face would be if it had one. 

“You know, if we break another one I don’t think Tony’s going to let us touch his stuff anymore.” She stopped murdering the poor robot and looked up at me. 

“Are you volunteering to take its place?” She panted, stepping off of the wreck of metal and padding. I shrugged. 

“I could use the practice.” I walked onto the mat. She didn’t even wait until I was ready before she pounced, taking me to the ground. I rolled, trying to get behind her. “What was that!?”

“Sneak attack. Duh.” She slid out of my grasp and bounced in front of me. My eyes left her determined face to take in a different view as she bounced and she took the opportunity to roundhouse kick me in the shoulder. She could have taken off my head but didn’t, realizing I was distracted and that I wouldn't have blocked it. “Is that really all it takes to get you off your game? Some bouncing?” She laughed and bounced some more, it was infuriatingly effective. 

“...Apparently.“ I smiled and lunged, trying to grapple her but she twisted away again. 

“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or offended.” She kicked again but this time I caught her leg and held it, stepping forward to get her off balance. She fell onto her back and I fell with her, keeping her leg in the crook of my arm so she couldn’t get loose. 

“Take it as you will.” I laughed as she tried to wriggle away, the motion as she brushed against me having unforeseen consequences. Everything with her was being run through a different filter now that we were allowing ourselves to explore the possibilities of a relationship that wasn’t strictly professional and it was bringing up unforeseen problems. I kissed her quickly on the lips before letting her go and getting back to my feet. She kicked up, lowering herself into a defensive stance in front of me and this time when I moved to grapple she kicked her leg between mine and knocked me off balance. She threw her body weight and pinned me, kissing me with a quick peck like I'd given her before letting me up again. I wasn’t sure what this new game was but I liked it. 

We got back into our opposing fighters stances, ready for another round when a voice called out from the entrance of the room. 

“Save some energy for Hydra.” Barton shouted. “You two are exhausting.” I gave Fin a longing glance before turning to greet him. 

“It’s about time you got back, you missed all the fun.” I said sarcastically. 

“Yeah. Nat filled me in. Sorry man, that sucks. All revved up and nowhere to go.” He had no idea.

“That’s why I'm taking it out on him.” Fin backhanded my arm before signing something to Barton. My ASL was not great but she seemed to be telling him I was going soft living in the tower. He laughed so I assumed I wasn’t far off. 

“Well Nat wanted me to come find you guys and tell you that she’s ordering lunch, if you wanted to clean up and join us.” he looked us over, eyebrow raised. “Or I can leave you back to whatever you were doing.”

“I think we’re probably done.” I said flatly, looking back at Fin who nodded. Best to quit while we’re ahead, the last thing we needed was for someone to walk in and catch us using the sparring mat for anything other than sparring. Barton walked out ahead of us as Fin started unwrapping her fists, I caught myself staring at the oddly intimate gesture. 

“We don’t have to be done.” When I looked up at her face her eyes flicked from mine to my waist and back, I felt my face grow hot. 

“It’s bad enough Barton almost walked in on us.” She stepped closer, her fingers reaching out to brush my shirt. The contact, minimal as it was, still sent goosebumps across my skin. 

“We can go upstairs, I just need to do one thing first.” She smiled up at me before standing on her toes to press her soft lips against mine. I rested my hands on her hips to steady her as she leaned against me, melting into my grip before breaking the kiss. She stayed close, breath mingling between us as she exhaled and chewed her bottom lip, the persistent ache in the front of my pants rising to the provocation. “So...lunch then?” She pushed herself away, walking out the door after Barton with an extra sway in her hips. 

“Yeah. Be up in a sec” I called after her, looking down at the state of myself. I was going to need a cold shower first.

  
  


**[Elena - 13:46 July 30th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

Everyone gathered in the kitchen to eat the pizza Nat ordered, trying to talk about anything but the flop mission we’d just gotten home from while we waited for Thor and Tony to get back. Tony wanted to check out the tech that was the forcefield, even though Thor insisted it was the power of the scepter making it possible, I assumed Thor had only stayed behind to say ‘I told you so’. Maria was unusually quiet and I could tell she was going through the morning in her head, trying to sort out what should have been done differently. Nat was in the corner talking to Bruce about them needing to prepare for the potential of a code green situation and he argued that he was here in a science capacity, not to get in the field. She looked skeptical but didn’t argue too hard as she kept trying to convince him to practice regardless. I saw Fin and Steve grabbing plates as they entered, complaining about how anticlimactic the morning had been and still being sore over it. I hoped we got another mission quickly so they could get past this sooner rather than later.

“Hey.” Barton sidled up to me, leaning against the counter as he put another slice of pizza in his mouth. “What’s going on with those two?” He gestured to Fin and Steve. 

“They’re just pissed they didn’t get to punch anything today.” I explained, assuming he’d been asking about their sour moods. 

“No. I know that. I mean...are they like, a thing?” He asked and I looked at him. 

“If they were, it wouldn’t be my place to say.“ Subtle Elena, real subtle. Barton smiled, understanding that I wasn't going to say more. 

“Well, in that case I wont say anything.” He elbowed me. “But it’s about damn time, right?” I took a sip of my drink to avoid answering but I didn’t argue. I think everyone that knew them had been waiting for them to pull their heads out of their butts and realize they were perfect for each other, now we were just waiting for them to tell us. Barton’s head perked up and he walked away, I watched him follow Nat and Bruce out of the room as I went to the table where Fin and Steve sat with Sam.

“...I hope they level it once it’s clear so they can’t come back.” Fin finished saying as I took a seat. 

“Oh good, I see we’re done talking about the mission.” I interjected sarcastically. Sam choked on the bite of pizza as he tried not to laugh. “While we’re alone I’d like to talk about something else if we can.”

“Alright.” Steve leaned back, crossing his arms, already defensive. 

“I want to know what you plan is for finding Barnes.” His eyebrows shot us in surprise. “Don’t look at me like that, we all know you want to find him. Everyone else is just too polite to bug you about it.” He looked over at Sam. 

“I already told you my concerns man.” He threw his hands up in surrender and Steve’s eyes went to Fin for a second before coming back to me. Apparently he had nothing to say to her on the topic and I wondered if they’d already talked about it. 

“Honestly, I don’t have a plan. I’m chasing my tail trying to figure out where to start.”

“What are you going on?” 

“I’ve gone back to the old neighborhood a few times, hoping he would have gone back to something familiar...Other than that I just keep reading the file Nat gave me, trying to sort it out.”

“What file?” I thought I had all the files on the Winter Soldier but I only had what S.H.I.E.L.D. had in the archives. 

“Some file from Kiev, it has more about the process they used to train and control him than anything I can use to find him.” 

“Can I take a look?” I couldn’t hide the excitement, I was too amped at the idea of answers in that file. Steve looked past me to make sure we were still alone. 

“Yeah. Come on.” We followed him up to his room, Sam shut the door behind us as Steve pulled a small lock box off the top shelf in his closet. He put a combination into the tumbler style padlock before tossing the box onto the bed, holding a stack of files in his hand. He looked at them for a moment before handing them all to me. Fin’s was on the top of the stack, mine was next and the last was a russian file labeled No. 17/LE 0623. The numbers were familiar to me, they were the reference numbers in the file Fin had recovered from Franz josef Land. It was a thick file and I opened it and skimmed for anything that jumped out at me, the first thing that stopped me was a picture of James looking straight into the camera, it was clipped to schematics of his metal arm. I must have been looking at it for too long without saying anything because Fin stepped up beside me and laid a hand on my arm. 

“Can I hold on to this? Read over it?” I asked, making myself look up from the file. 

“Sure...But I have to ask, why do you want to find him? Not that I'm ungrateful I just...the file has some mission details, i’ve been trying to map them out in case he revisits any of them. I noticed one of them.” He cleared his throat. “One of them was in New Mexico, December 22nd...1997.”

“I know.” I felt my throat tighten and my eyes sting. I’d put the pieces together a long time ago but I hadn’t admitted it out loud. “I read Coulson’s notes on the crash a few years ago...I know. I’m not looking for revenge, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Elena…” Fin prompted when no one else said anything and I knew what she was getting at. 

“You read my file.” It wasn’t a question. “You read about Franz Josef Land.”

“Yeah, you were taken captive and an unidentified asset helped you escape.” I nodded. 

“Not unidentified, just left out of the file. It was him. He didn’t know who he was but I did.”

“Why did he help you?” Steve asked and I could see the wheels turning as he tried to put it together himself, he knew that the only thing that saved him on the helicarrier was some part of Bucky recognizing him. 

“It wasn’t the first time we met.” I flipped through his file looking for a single word, I found it under a large red stamp that read ‘FAILED’ in russian. I laid the file on the bed for everyone to see and the boys stepped forward to read the page I'd opened to. I started looking for the same word in my file, laying it beside the first when I did. I waited for them to put it together, Sam got there first. 

“Shit.” he looked up at me. 

“The file says they lost him after he failed to complete the mission, they were looking for him for months.” Steve crossed his arms, his favorite not so subtle body language for ‘i’m upset about this but trying not to show it’.

“They were.” I agreed. “I was hiding him.”

“You what?” Sam couldn’t hide the tone and his face told me he was starting to think he was in over his head with us. 

“Why?” Steve asked. I shrugged, I'd been asking myself the same question since it happened and I still didn’t have a real answer. 

“He was hurt and scared when I found him, I couldn’t leave him...I got to know him. I didn’t know he was Bucky, He said his name was James and I never put it together until after…”

I meant after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell but I didn’t need to say it, he understood. “I need to find him too.” I admitted. It was true, I just didn’t tell him how much closer I was to finding him than he was. 

“Any ideas?” 

“Not yet.” I picked up the folders. “I’ll let you know if I see anything that might give us a direction.”

  
  
  


**[Fin - 14:43 August 14th, 2014 - NEW YORK]**

I didn’t like surprises as a general rule so when a note was left under my bedroom door with instructions to meet in Tony’s garage at 2:30 I was both annoyed and intrigued. When I walked in to find Steve waiting for me I was less annoyed but I still wanted to know what was going on. 

“Why are we in the garage?” 

“Well, I'm taking you out and I thought it would be nice to take a car.” he smiled, looking like he was up to something. 

“I like the motorcycle.” I shrugged. 

“Me too, but I didn’t want you to try to ride it in a dress.” I looked down at my jeans confused.

“I’m not wearing a dress.” I pointed out stupidly, as though he hadn’t noticed. 

“Come on, we’re going to fix that.” 

I raised an eyebrow at him and his grin widened. Instead of saying more he walked over to a 1932 Ford Flathead Roadster and opened the passenger side door for me. 

“Does Tony know we’re taking one of his cars?” I asked, expecting the answer to be yes. 

“Of course not.” He bent to close the door and kissed my cheek before walking around to get in himself. “Jarvis knows, that’s all that really matters. And technically this car belongs to Pepper, who said it was fine if we took it out.”

“When did you talk to Pepper?” None of us had seen Pepper since we moved into the tower and every time we brought it up Tony explained that she didn’t want to be in the way. We all assumed she didn’t want to be part of the chaos and trying to run a business at the same time so we didn’t blame her. 

“I called her a few nights ago to ask for a favor.”

“The car?” I guessed as we turned down streets I didn’t recognize, I was already lost. 

“And something else.”

“What?” I asked, I didn’t like not knowing things. It was the opposite of what you were supposed to do as an agent. You were supposed to fight and know things, it’s what you did. 

“You’ll see.”

“But I want to know now!” I stuck out my bottom lip and he laughed. 

“That’s just too bad because I'm having too much fun torturing you.”

“That’s cruel and unusual and against the Geneva convention.” I argued.

“Oh really? So you leaving me in suspense the other day was…?” He was talking about getting him worked up after the mission and I couldn’t hide the smile that spread across my face at the memory. He just shook his head at me and pulled into a parking garage. I didn’t recognize the place but it looked like an apartment complex. “Where are we? You know what...you aren’t going to tell me anyway so I don’t know why I even asked.” We parked and he came around to open my door but I was already out of the car. He offered his hand and I took it as we walked. 

“So, did you tell anyone where we were going?” I asked idly. 

“No, why? Are you afraid I'm going to leave you there?” 

“No.” I laughed. “I was just thinking that I didn’t tell anyone that I was leaving.”

“Me neither.”

“Why not?” I thought out loud. “I mean, how hard would it be to say ‘Hey guys, we’re going out’. But instead we’re passing notes and sneaking around...are we doing it on purpose or are we just that bad at letting people in on our personal lives?”

“I mean...Sam knows, Elena knows...i’m not trying to hide it but…”

“But?”

“Is it bad to say that I don’t want Tony to know?” 

“Is it bad if I agree with you? I don’t feel like opening that can of worms with the teasing...” 

“And you know any time I make a call in the field that’s in your favor Tony is going to accuse me of favoritism.”

“Probably...and all of that is not EVEN touching on the more personal questions he could bring up.” 

“I hadn’t even thought of that…” His eyes went wide at the idea of Tony asking him if he’d gotten laid yet. “That being said...I hope you’re okay with Pepper knowing, she promised not to tell Tony.” We stopped at the loft door and he knocked, after a second it opened and Pepper greeted us. 

“Come in! Come in!” She ushered us through the door. “Steve, your stuff is laid out in the spare room. Third door on the left. Fin, come with me.” She took my wrist and started walking, I looked over my shoulder at him and he just smiled as she dragged me away. 

“What is going on?” I asked her, hoping she would be more forthcoming than Steve. 

“We’re getting you ready for a night out, Steve had an idea but didn’t want to ask Tony so he called and asked if I would help.” She explained vaguely. 

“And that was?” I pried. She shook a finger at me. 

“Oh no, I'm not ruining the surprise. But I assumed that you didn’t bring anything to wear to the tower so I told him to bring you here first. I have more dresses from formal events than I know what to do with so just pick the one you want and take it, it’s yours.” She led me to a closet the size of my bedroom at home that was just dresses and shoes as far as the eye could see. 

“I don’t...where do I start?” I was officially overwhelmed. 

“Well...What color do you wear most?” She asked, walking in and looking through the gowns. 

“Black.” it was true, I did MOSTLY wear tactical gear...which was black. 

“What about when you aren’t at work?” She side-eyed me over her shoulder. 

“Green.” My favorite dress to wear to Frank’s was green, I didn’t really like a lot of color. 

“Green...green...she ran her hands over the dresses as she walked. “Ah-ha!” She pulled one down and handed it to me, it was heavy silk and a dark marbled green that was cinched under the bust. It wasn’t my style at all but I tried it on. It was long and flowy and backless, which made me feel exposed, but I couldn't argue that it was comfortable and flattering. Pepper knocked on the door, holding out a pair of shoes to match the dress. 

“Thanks.” I put them on and caught myself in the bathroom mirror. “Can i...could I borrow some make-up? I don’t usually wear much but…”

“But a dress that fancy your face feels naked?” She nodded. “Be right back.”

Thirty minutes later Pepper had done my hair and make-up for me, ten minutes of that had been me arguing against it but she insisted. She did good work. 

“Happy is going to drive you from here.” She smiled, folding the clothes I'd been wearing into a bag.

“That’s not necessary, you’ve already done enough.” I tried to talk her out of it but she insisted. 

“Happy will take you in one of the SUV’s. He’s used to handling Tony and everyone wanting his attention, after the incident with S.H.I.E.L.D. I don’t think Steve is going to be able to take more than a few steps in downtown without a mob forming. Trust me.”

  
  


**[Elena - 16:50 August 14th, 2014 - NEW YORK]**

Tony and Bruce had been locked in the lab for days with Thor trying to find a way to track the scepter and Clint kept disappearing with Nat on their own missions. I wasn’t sure where Fin had gotten off to, but considering Sam had ‘misplaced’ Steve as well I thought it was safe to assume they were together. I wasn’t sure what to do with my new found free time other than enjoy it and I'd taken advantage of the empty living room to sprawl on the couch with some snacks and a book. I’d been pouring over the Winter Soldier file since I'd gotten it from Steve and I needed something less...depressing. 

I made myself comfortable, listening for the tell tale sounds that I was about to be interrupted and heard nothing. I exhaled in relief, sweet silence. Finally! I opened the book, it was one I'd read before but I wasn’t above rereading a favorite. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I heard footsteps on the landing but I'd made it about halfway through the worn out paperback. 

“Elena?” It was Sam, I sat up so he could see me where I'd been hidden. “Mail.” He held up an envelope and I nearly tripped over myself in my rush to get up. 

“Thanks!” I took it from him, looking at the neatly printed to address under the angry stamp announcing to forward the parcel here. 

“You gonna open it or just use x-ray vision to see what’s inside?” Sam joked when I didn’t tear into it. 

“I’m not in any hurry.”

“Are you sure? Cause you almost died trying to get it from me.” I blushed. “Yeah, I saw that.” he added, in case I wasn’t sure. 

“I’ll open it...later.”

“Fine. I didn’t want to know anyway. I’m just going stir crazy here.”

“Then go out.” I suggested. “It’s not alcatraz.”

“And do what? Get hounded by all the people that watched the footage of the Hydra take over, asking me when Captain America is going to go on Dr. Phil and talk about it? No thank you.”

“Then I suggest you find a hobby.” I smiled sweetly, before picking up my snacks and heading to my room. I felt bad blowing him off, I knew he just wanted company, but I didn’t want him hovering when I opened my mail in case it was something that would give away who it was from. 

I opened the envelope and pulled out a stack of blank postcards. There were ten in total, some were just the generic ‘welcome to (insert small town here) cards but a few were places that I'd been before. 

The first was House on the Rock in Wisconsin, I remembered Fin begging to go after she read American Gods and Coulson had arranged for the false pipes in the organ room to be a dead drop. Fin had loved the idea and I wondered what James had thought of the place. Personally I found it a little overwhelming so I couldn't even imagine him walking through. 

The next card that caught my eye was the City Museum in St. Louis, another one of Fin’s destinations. It wasn’t a museum exactly, as much as it was a more public version of House on the rock and the drop had been hidden in the giant praying mantis on the roof. The last was one that Coulson had set up, I'd never actually been myself but the postcard had a picture of trees made of glass bottles and the clue that went with the coordinates finally made sense. I mapped the route in my head, James was moving south west and assuming he’d mailed these from the furthest away postcard he was halfway across the country a few days ago. Part of me was anxious that he was getting further from me but I knew it meant he was further from danger as well. I had no doubts that Hydra operatives wanted to find him just as badly as Steve and they had more experience trying to find him. The more distance he put between him and his last known location, the better 

  
  


**[Steve - 20:40 August 14th, 2014 - NEW YORK]**

The show had been longer than I'd expected but it was good. Happy smuggled in some food during intermission and Fin told him about ninety times how glad she was that he’d brought us. I was too when he suggested we wait for the crowd to disperse before leaving, apparently someone had seen me during the break and there were reporters wanting me to talk to them about the current state of S.H.I.E.L.D. I hadn’t anticipated the consequences of being in public and I didn’t want to bring Fin down with me. 

Nearly everyone had gone and Happy ushered us to a back exit where he’d parked. We waited at the door and I heard voices outside. 

“I thought you said they were gone?” I asked impatiently, I didn’t blame him but I was getting annoyed that I couldn’t just go out and try to enjoy my evening. 

“Most of them are gone. It’s a manageable number.” He answered, looking at a device in his hand with a blinking red light. “When the light turns green, walk to the car.” The light changed with a high pitched whine and the voices outside when from frantic excitement to a murmur of disappointment. Fin and I stepped out to see everyone looking down at their phones and digital cameras, cursing at technology failing them. 

“EMP?” Fin whispered. Happy smiled and nodded. I heard the click of a camera shutter and Happy snapped his head in the direction of the sound. 

“Get in the car. I’ve got this.” he waved us on and we went, climbing into the back of the SUV. I could barely see out of the blacked out windows but I watched as he found the man with the functioning camera, one that was low tech enough to survive the pulse, and pulled the film from his camera. Happy got into the driver’s seat and tossed a roll of film back at us. Fin caught it. “Souvenir.” 

He drove us back to Pepper’s apartment where we got into the roadster and headed back to the tower on our own. Fin slid to sit closer to me on the bench seat and leaned her head on my shoulder. 

“Thanks” she whispered. “This was very nice.”

“You’re very welcome. I’m glad you liked it.” I was, I'd been nervous doing something so fancy, Fin was hard to read when it came to what she would or wouldn’t like. I knew she liked dressing up to go out but I also knew she was just as happy on a sparring mat. 

“I do have ONE critique...a very small one.”

“What’s that.” I felt a lump in my throat, ready for bad news. 

“Stop trying to impress me.”

“I thought that’s what you were supposed to do on dates?” I asked, genuinely confused. 

“I guess it is when you are trying to get someone to like you” she laughed. “But I already like you and I don’t need big fancy dates to know that.”

“Hmm.” I nodded. “Alright. No fancy dates ever.” I said sarcastically, she rolled her eyes at me. 

“MAYBE on special occasions.” She compromised. 

“Make up your mind!” I insisted as we pulled into the garage, Jarvis letting us in without a sound. 

“I don’t have to make up my mind, i’m a lady.” She winked at me. I couldn’t argue with that. I parked the car where we’d found it and she waited for me to open her door before she got out. I knew she had only done it because she knew I was going to open it and it made me smile. 

“Did I tell you how pretty you look tonight? Or was that in my head.” I asked, she didn’t answer. Instead she looked down at her dress and tugged at the seams. I put my hand under her chin and tilted her face up to look at me. 

“You didn’t...tell me.” she blushed as she answered the question. 

“You look beautiful.” I kissed her on the cheek. “And gorgeous.” I kissed the other cheek. “And I'm not sure how you ended up with a schmuck like me.” I kissed her on the tip of her nose and she giggled, her hands hanging onto my lapels. 

“Well...You clean up nice, so that’s a start.” She stood on her toes and her lips brushed mine softly. I kissed her back, my fingers resting on her jaw as her hands slid up to my shoulders. Our lips parted against each other, an invitation for more. I could taste the champagne she’d had at intermission, still lingering on her tongue as even though the effects were long past faded, as we tasted each other. If I could stay here, kissing her, I would have chosen it over returning to normal life. 

“Sorry to interrupt Sir, but your absence has been noticed.” Jarvis alerted, Fin groaned. 

“So, did we decide if we were telling everyone?” I asked, knowing if we told them we could stay down here and tell them all to piss off. 

“Don’t make that my call. I can handle Tony.” 

“I don’t want to hide it...i just don’t want him to know either. I want you all to myself a little longer.”

“Then we’ll let them figure it out.”

* * *

**[Elena - 13:46 Sep. 19th, 2014 - CLASSIFIED]**

We were finally getting a second shot at a Hydra base. The encrypted data had been uncoded weeks ago but it took several more days to make heads or tails of the information inside. Maria gave us the news last night and Fin and Steve were the first ones awake, dressed and ready like it was christmas morning. I looked over to see them pouring over the plans again, talking out any potential issues. I wasn’t sure if anyone else had noticed that they weren’t pretending not to like each other anymore. They weren’t flaunting anything, neither of them were big on PDA but when I watched I saw them standing a little too close together. Inside each other’s bubbles without being aware of it. I was pretty sure that if I noticed, Nat noticed. I knew Barton noticed. I wasn’t sure the rest of our group was aware enough of their surroundings to see it, I knew Tony rarely saw past his own issues and Bruce had a lot on his plate. Thor was a wildcard, on the surface he seemed more concerned with his own affairs but I'd seen him save that town in New Mexico first hand. 

“Two minutes until touchdown.” Jarvis announced. Everyone got ready. Doing last minute checks on gear and making sure we were at the door. “No forcefield power signature detected.”

“Looks like the files were right. This base was too small to constitute the extra security.” Nat observed. 

“That also means it is unlikely that the scepter is here.” Thor looked pointedly at Tony. 

“Just because this one looks like an easier target doesn't mean we need to drop our guard. We have a job to do.” Steve said seriously. “If at all possible, take hostages.”

“Thirty seconds.” Jarvis sounded and Fin started bouncing, some things never changed. The wheels touched down and the hatch lowered. 

“Have fun storming the castle!” Bruce yelled from the cockpit as we unloaded, I heard Cap laugh as we ran before he started calling out instruction. 

“Barton, you and Nat bring up the rear, keep an eye out for any intel we can take with us. Sam you’ve got them from the air until they're inside.”

“Roger that!” Sam answered. 

“Tony…” Steve started but Tony cut him off. 

“Me and Thor have the perimeter to make sure no one rabbits. Once the rest of you clear the inside we’re welcome to join the party.” He sounded exasperated. 

“Right. Fin, Elena. You’re with me. Lets get it cleared.”

“Copy that.” I answered, Fin just let out a threatening sound through her crazed smile beside me. I really hoped there were people in her for her to fight, she needed an outlet for the tiny rage monster that lived inside her. The first wave of soldiers filed out of the entrance and Cap and Fin sped up on either side of me, both of them eager to get to them. Steve’s face was serious, an inverse of Fin’s feral grin. She pulled ahead of him and he saw her passing, I saw his mouth twitch up in a smile to mirror hers before she body slammed the first target. He hit the second with his shield, sending him flying. I dove at the third, knocking him off balance before I rolled back to my feet in time to kick the gun from the man behind him. I lost my partners in the fray but not completely, I could see the bodies falling around them. Something told me this mission wasn’t going to take as long as we thought. 

  
  


**[Fin- 22:06 Sep. 19th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

_ Fire and Ice - Olivia Bray  _

The mission had gone off without a hitch, the base had been cleared and gone through with a fine tooth comb. The tech we’d taken still needed to be decrypted and compared to the first round of files but at least we had it. The hostages we’d managed to take were turned over to the CIA under the stipulation that they gave us any useful information they got from them. It wasn’t as satisfying as taking out the hydra operatives in a more permanent capacity but it was better than them being out there unaccounted for. I would have to be content with the light maiming they had received in the process of being captured. 

We’d been back for a few hours and most of the team had gone to bed. I couldn't blame them, it had been a long day, but I was too wired to sleep. I’d worked out a lot of my pent up energy but when we’d gotten back to the tower I couldn’t seem to sit still. I paced the common room for a while, did laps in the gym and showered but nothing was helping. I laid in bed, trying to sleep, but eventually I found my way onto one of the balconies. The open air seemed to do the trick, apparently the opportunity to let loose on a mission after time in the tower had given me claustrophobia in this place. I put my forearms on the formed steel sheeting that served as a railing and leaned forward, closing my eyes and feeling the breeze that wrapped around the building on my face. 

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this.” A voice spoke behind me, I didn’t have to look to recognize it. 

“Captain Rogers, if I didn’t know better, I'd think you were following me.” I teased, straightening against the railing as I looked over my shoulder toward him. He was behind me in a few short step, his hands warm when he ran them down my arms before wrapping them around my waist. I was suddenly very aware of how I was dressed, having wandered out here in my pajamas, not expecting anyone to catch me out in the long tank top and boyshorts.

“What if I am?” He asked, apparently I wasn't the only one feeling restless. His breath tickled my ear and I tried to think of a witty response...come on brain. Brain? ...Hello? ...Damn it. I opened my mouth, hoping something intelligent would come out but his lips touched the nape of my neck and all bets were off. He kissed a trail to my shoulder and I found myself leaning back against his chest. His hands moved to my hips and I grabbed the railing in front of me to steady myself as I tilted my head, encouraging him to keep going. His fingers dug into my hips when I shifted and he slid them up to my waist, his left slipping under the loose fabric. His hand stopped when it touched skin and I felt his posture change, less certain in his actions.

"It's okay." I turned my face to his, kissing him over my shoulder as I guided his hand higher, his hand leaving a trail of heat in it's wake as it moved across my ribs. When his thumb brushed the underside of my bare breast he made a rough sound against my lips and I wondered if he had meant for there to be words. I didn't ask. His had tentatively explored, squeezing gently, testing my response. It was torture, pure and simple, because with every touch it made me want more. 

I moved my body against his and his free hand wrapped around me, holding me tight against him. I felt his excitement pressing into my backside and wondered how far we would let ourselves go without interruption. Before I could think about it too long I felt his hand slide from where he held me at the waist to the warmth between my legs, applying pressure to the front of my shorts. His fingers moved, finding what he was looking for and I had to steady myself on the railing as my knees tried to buckle under me. He stroked me through the fabric, the hand under my shirt moving with the same frantic rhythm and I writhed against him. His mouth went back to my throat, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin there as my body went taught all at once, pleasure pulsating from my center as I bit my bottom lip in an effort not to cry out. I felt him supporting my weight when I was able to relax and I couldn't keep myself from smiling up at him. 

“Well...that was unexpected.” It wasn't witty, but it was all my brain had at the moment. 

“What can I say, I'm full of surprises.” He turned me to face him fully, kissing me gently again. I put my arms under his, holding him close and feeling his loose sweatpants leaving little to the imagination. Apparently I wasn't the only one who decided to walk around in their pajamas. I plucked at the drawstring between us, trying to undo it. His hands went to mine, stopping them. “You don't have to--"

“I want to.” I cut him off with a kiss and he let my hands go. Once the knot was undone I went to my knees in front of him.

“What are you--?” he started to ask, I looked up at him, finger over my lips to remind him to be quiet. He looked to both sides, making sure his outburst hadn't brought anyone out onto their balconies. When he didn't die of embarrassment I assumed we were in the clear. He grabbed the railings, leaning over me slightly as I lowered the waist of his pants enough to free his erection. I ran the flat of my tongue up the length of him before taking him into my mouth. I heard the metal groan under the strain of him squeezing it in response and hoped he didn't leave visible damage. How would we explain that to Tony?

“Hey Cap. What are you doing out here? Isn't it past your bedtime?” as if thinking his name had summoned him, I heard Tony’s voice. I froze, panicking for a moment until I realized he couldn't see me. The steel walls of the balcony hid everything from the waist down, as long as he was on his balcony he wouldn't know I was here. Steve cleared his throat. 

“Yeah. Couldn't sleep.” He managed, his voice sounded ragged and I hoped Tony would brush it off. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

“You know.” He shrugged “hanging out.” I tried not to laugh at how literal his answer was. You shouldn't laugh with your mouth full anyway, that's a choking hazard. I recklessly decided if he was comfortable enough to make jokes I wasn't going to make it easy for him. The evil part of me was enjoying watching him squirm. 

“if you're having trouble sleeping you should go burn off some energy, wear yourself out.” Tony offered helpfully. “There’s plenty to keep you busy here.”

“MmHmm.” Steve nodded and caught my eye as I slid him slowly from my lips, tasting every inch from base to tip before sucking just the head as i kept him in my mouth. He had to close his eyes when he looked down too long and put a hand on his hip as he looked up, overcompensating in his attempt to not look down at me again. 

“Are...are you okay?” Tony actually sounded concerned. 

“Yea.” His answer was higher pitched than his normal voice and he clamped his mouth shut when he heard it. He tried again to no avail and had to stop mid sentence. “it's just…uh...”

“I know. I’m sure it’s hard...having to fight a war you thought you’d already won.” I heard ice clunking in a glass as he took a drink and Steve nodded, still keeping his chin up as to not see me. “I'll leave you out here with your thoughts Cap, just make sure you get some rest and relax. You're no good to any of us this tense" Steve gave him a thumbs up in response as he cleared his throat, words no longer an option as I leaned forward again, letting him hit the back of my throat as I tried to swallow him whole. Tony's balcony door clicked shut and I stopped teasing, taking the base of his thick shaft in my hands and stroking as I sucked, his hip moving to meet me. I felt his hand in my hair, fingers digging into my scalp as he finished, the sound of the metal railing groaned behind my head and I pitied the shape the railing must be in now. He helped me to my feet before adjusting the front of his pants to make sure he was covered.

“You're going to be the death of me, woman.” His ears had turned a deep red as his brain started working again and I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. 

  
  


**[Elena - 06:35 Sep. 20th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

I sat at the table, refreshing my email for the third time as I sipped my coffee. The postcards reassured me that he was on the move and picking up the dead drops but it didn’t change the fact that I wanted to hear from him. I read the email from July again, looking for anything I might have missed. I’m not sure why I bothered, I had it memorized at this point. I was starting to have a lot of things committed to memory when it came to James, like the details of his missions and what he’d been through for them to control him. The torture, the experiments...I couldn't’ get them out of my head if I wanted too. 

“Have you heard the expression ‘a watched pot never boils’?” Tony asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee. I hadn’t heard him come in. 

“Maybe once or twice, I'm surprised you have.” Tony wasn’t the most patient person on the planet. 

“Just because I've heard it doesn’t mean I subscribe to the philosophy.” He explained, taking the seat across from me. I looked at the time. 

“What are you even doing awake?” Usually Tony didn’t crawl out of bed until well after noon unless we had a mission. 

“Don’t you know? I’m an incurable insomniac. I haven’t gone to bed yet.”

“Why not?” I eyed his coffee, wondering if he planned to sleep at all today. He saw me looking. 

“Don’t mind this, I don’t even feel it anymore. I was actually waiting for you. I wanted to talk and I noticed the only time it was possible to get you alone was before everyone else woke up.” A little warning light started going off in my head. Tony wasn’t the sharing type so whatever he wanted to talk about was serious. 

“You have about ten minutes before Sam comes through.” I warned. He leaned forward, getting serious. 

“I want you to talk to Cap. I think he’s trying to hold it together for us but it’s getting to him.”

“What makes you say that?” I wondered if Steve had said something to Tony in passing and was starting to get concerned. 

“Last night, I found him outside on the balcony...He seemed pretty upset.”

“Upset how?” 

“Odd...choked up.” He fidgeted with the spoon in his coffee. “He just wasn’t himself.”

“I’ll talk to him.” I promised. “You get some sleep.”

“Yes Ma’am” He downed the rest of his coffee and saluted me with his spoon as he grinned, heading down into the workshop instead of his room as Sam walked in. 

“Was that Tony?” He asked, watching the door close behind him. 

“Yep.”

“He’s up early.” Sam poured himself some orange juice, drinking it and putting the glass in the sink without bothering to sit down. 

“He hasn’t gone to sleep.” 

“Shit.” he shook his head. “Is Fin up? I usually run with Cap but he was still sleeping.”

“She didn’t come to bed until late, she’s still asleep...give me a minute to change. Can’t let you run alone.”

“Sounds good. I might even be able to keep up with you.” He laughed. I got up, taking mine and Tony’s mugs to join Sam’s cup in the sink. 

“Hey, Tony said…” I started to second guess bringing it up but Sam was closer to Steve than most of us. “Is Steve doing alright?” Sam looked surprised. 

“Yeah, I mean i’m sure he’s been better but he seems to be holding up as well as the rest of us. What did Tony say?”

“He just said he thought Steve was acting weird.” I shrugged. “It’s probably nothing.”

I finished my coffee as sleepy voices echoed up the hallway and I didn’t try to hide my relief, I abhorred indoor running and the sound of Steve coming to join Sam was the highlight of my morning. He and Fin entered, their faces still flush with sleep, neither of them quite awake yet. Fin’s hair was up in a messy bun and she still had a small crease on her cheek where she’d slept on a blanket fold. She sat beside me with a plop, leaning over a cup of coffee she’d poured herself and inhaling. Steve followed suit, taking a seat on the other side of me. 

“Sleep well?" Sam asked no one in particular. Fin made an indistinct humming noise in response as she sipped her drink. 

“Well enough.” Steve answered. 

“Tony said you were up late?” It was a statement but I somehow managed to phrase it as a question. 

“Yeah, just trouble winding down.” Steve reassured me. 

“You sure that’s it? Tony seems to think you’ve got something else going on. That something’s wrong and you aren’t telling us.”

“Why would he think that?” Steve raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. 

“He said you were out on the balcony and when he talked to you that you seemed ‘off’.” I explained. Beside me Fin started choking on her coffee and I looked sideways at her as she coughed.

“Wrong pipe.” she managed between fits and I turned back to Steve. 

“I may have been a little...distracted.” he admitted, his face turning pink. “But i’m good.”

I looked back and forth between the two of them, Steve joining Fin in a united attempt to hide behind coffee mugs, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what Tony had actually walked in on. 

  
  


**[Bucky - 15:23 Sep. 20th, 2014 - NEW MEXICO]**

_Somewhere only we know - Keane_

The drop in Jamestown had been the most difficult so far, it was in a conservation area with no markers to show me the way and I'd only stumbled upon what I was looking for by chance. I’d hitchhiked from there to Gallup and found a diner that looked quiet enough, the name on the sign was too faded to read but I could smell the food cooking from outside and knew it was the right place. A sweet older woman, maybe in her early fifties came to take my order.

“Hi there. My name is Sarah, I'll be taking care of you today. What can I get ya?” Her name rang in my head, I'd known someone by that name...a long time ago. Another lifetime ago and it made me feel sad when I tried to place it. I looked down at the menu, unsure what to get. 

“What smells good?” I asked and she smiled. 

“That would be the brisket honey, we’ll get you a big ole plate if that’s what you want.” 

“Yes please and with water.” She wrote it down on her pad. 

“That comes with green beans, mashed potatoes and corn bread. For another dollar you get a slice of pie.”

“What kind?”

“Apple, cherry or pecan.”

“Cherry please.” I wasn’t sure I liked pie but I'd give it a shot. She walked my order to the kitchen and I pulled out my phone, still no signal. It seemed the further west I went the harder it was to use so I put it away, trading it for the folded map of New Mexico. I spread it out on the table as Sarah brought me water. “Can you show me where we are?” I asked, I knew the general area based on where I'd come from but the diner wasn’t exactly an ‘on the map’ kind of place. She pointed to a crossroads near I-40. 

“We’re right here. Where you headed? Maybe I can help you get there.”

“I’m not sure. I just have coordinates.” 

“Oh? Like one of them geocache things? That’s fun.” She sounded genuinely delighted. 

“Something like that.” I smiled, her mood was infectious. I jumped when I heard the bell that signaled her that an order was ready. It was mine and she brought it to me, looking at where I was pointing on the map. It didn’t seem like there was much out there either but after the last one I wasn’t surprised

“Hey, is that where you’re headed?” I looked up at her as she sat down the plates of hot food. “Sorry, it’s probably none of my business. I just, I know someone headed that way. If you need a ride.”

“I could use a ride.” I set the map aside, taking a bite of food. 

“Ramon!” She called to the bar where a man sat, his head turning to her when she called his name. “You're heading back down tonight right?”

“Yes ma’am, just came up for the Brisket.” he winked 

“I’m gonna choose to believe that flattering lie if you can give this man a ride.” She pointed to me. “He’s got some GPS coordinates sending him down to Candy Kitchen, not sure he knows what he’s in for.”

“Sure” the man called Ramon shrugged while I rolled ‘candy kitchen’ around in my head. Where the hell was this woman sending me?. “I can hang around until he’s ready. Wouldn’t mind the company on the ride back either.”

“Thank you” I answered through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He got up from his seat at the bar, walking over and making a gesture that asked if he could sit. I nodded, shoveling more food into my face. It was the best meal I'd had in awhile. 

“So, what’s your plan once you find what you’re looking for?” He asked, taking in my worn backpack and clothes

“I don’t really have one.” I admitted, once I found the drop I'd decided to start north and stay moving but past that I had nothing. 

“Well if you have it in you for a little work we’d be happy to have you. Cold weather creeping in keeps us busy. If not, that’s fine too, i’ll give you a ride regardless...You just seem like you might benefit from staying in one place for a few days.” He probably wasn’t wrong, ever since I'd left Washington I hadn’t slept in the same place twice. The thought made me anxious but considering where I was, I doubted anyone would find me if I stayed put for a while. 


	6. Hold on for Your Life

**[Steve - 09:24 Oct. 31st, 2014 - EN ROUTE]**

“Are you sure about this?” Fin asked again, getting up from the pilot chair and letting jarvis take the wheel. I hadn’t answered the first time before we’d left the tower and I assumed she was asking again now that Sam and Elena could put in their two cents. 

“No. I’m not.” I tried to keep my voice even, I’d woken up with a bad feeling about this mission but I was determined to look into it anyway. I didn’t blame Fin for questioning it and I knew if the whole group had come she wouldn’t have. “In all honesty, the lead is thin...real thin.” I sighed. When Maria gave me the tip from a random data dump we’d pull at the base, i’d jumped on it, eager to have somewhere to look. The more I thought about it the more it didn’t make sense. I didn’t know why Bucky would go back to McCoy, he hadn’t even wanted to join the army. I’d been lying to every recruiting office in the state trying to get in, I wanted to live up to the name my father had left behind. Not Bucky. He believed in doing the right thing, protecting people who couldn’t protect themselves, it’s why we got along so well; but he didn’t want to enlist. After his Dad died in a training accident at Lehigh he was skeptical of the military. I was sure if I got in he would change his mind, he wouldn’t let me go off alone, but he’d been drafted before either of us could do anything about it. They’d shipped him to McCoy, he’d been ordered to leave his family behind to serve his country whether he liked it or not. I couldn’t imagine he’d go back on purpose. 

“If you’re not sure about it then why are we going?” Sam asked. I knew he wasn’t thrilled about me trying to find Bucky, but I knew he would help me anyway. 

“Because I've spent the last few months sitting on my ass doing nothing. I haven’t had any leads so I haven’t been looking...I’ve been trying not to burn myself out chasing dead ends.” I used the phrase Fin had told Peggy and I saw Fin look up, noticing. “I’ve been trying to let it go, to a point. I know I can’t expect him to just turn up. But I can’t let a lead go when it comes in. No matter how unlikely I think it is. Elena, would you like to add anything?” she hadn’t spoken since we got on the jet and I wanted to know what she thought while the subject was already being discussed. 

“We aren’t going to find him if we aren’t looking, checking leads as they come is the most reasonable course of action.” 

“Good. So we all agree that we’re doing this, even if it’s just to rule it out?” 

“Yes.” Elena nodded. 

“You know I'm going along with whatever you want man.” Sam added.

“I’m following you.” Fin put a hand on my shoulder. 

**[Elena - 10:57 Oct 31s, 2014 - CAMP MCCOY]**

I knew we weren’t going to find him here, even without the knowledge I was hiding from Steve and the others the information we’d gotten from the hydra files was dated months ago. It was frightening how close they’d been to catching up to James, if the file was accurate they’d gotten here a few days after I'd received the first round of postcard. Knowing how close they were then had me even more concerned that I hadn’t heard from him in a while, what if they’d found him? What if they’d already taken his memories of us...of me. 

“Anything?” Steve walked up and I shook my head. I saw Fin and Sam walking towards us with an equal amount of disappointment on their faces. 

“Nothing.” Sam announced. 

“Sorry.” 

“He was here...maybe a few months back.” I’d debated the wisdom in letting him know but I couldn't let him leave here with nothing. “I can smell him, faintly. It’s not enough to track but it’s there.” It wasn't a lie, I'd been able to pinpoint where he’d slept while he was here. It’s where the scent was strongest, but I couldn’t tell where he’d gone from here. He’d gotten in a car and the trail had gone cold. 

“That’s something.” He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture we’d all come to recognize as anxiety or frustration on his part. “Come on. If we get back soon we can enjoy the calm before the storm.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, it’s just a party.” Fin started walking to the jet, she’d been worried we wouldn’t make it back to enjoy the festivities. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a Stark style party but it was only one night. 

We were back in plenty of time, Steve and Sam wandered off somewhere and Fin went to find Tony and make sure he wasn’t going to ruin halloween. I went to my room, planning to conserve my energy until Fin made me get dressed and socialize. There was a small box on my bed, I looked for the neat print handwriting I'd come to expect and was surprised to see a return address this time. More surprisingly, I recognized it. 

I sat down, holding the box in my hands. The address was written by James, there was no doubt and I knew that if he followed the dead drops he would find his way to the sanctuary eventually but seeing the two things come together still threw me. I opened it, pulling out a small stuffed wolf from the top of the pile. Under that was a certificate of sponsorship for Leia, while a portion of my pay had always been sent back to the sanctuary I'd never picked a single animal to sponsor which confirmed this wasn’t just a package from them. I found a small envelope in the bottom of the box with my name printed on the front and tore it open. 

_‘Elena,_

_I’m sorry it’s been so long, unfortunately it seems the further I travel away from the cities the less able I am to use the phone with any success. I debated putting this letter with your box for fear it would be discovered but I wanted to reassure you that I had made it to the coordinates you’d given me._

_I hadn’t planned to stay but when I arrived they needed help, little things like mending fences and moving supplies. They had volunteers to do it but when the weather started to change so did the help. As some left, others arrived and I offered to fill in where needed. Eventually they convinced me to stay in one of their rooms. It serves its purpose, keeping me out of the rain to sleep. I don’t spend much time there, not with so much empty space around me to explore._

_If I'm honest with myself I stayed because of you. At first I thought it was because you sent me here, but I realized it was more than that. I’m still unsure how that’s true but I know it is. I plan to move on before too long, I’m not sure where too, but think I've been in one place too long._

_I wish I had more to say to you, I think you deserve more than this but I worry about saying too much. I would have you know that I've started keeping notes of things I remember, everything as it comes back in flashes. Nothing seems to come in any kind of order, I don’t know why I thought it would be that easy, but writing it down helps. I’ve been able to put some pieces together into a larger whole. Some days I feel more sane for it and others, well other days I wish the memories would have stayed buried, but I suppose I can’t have one without the other._

_I hope you like your gift, she reminds me of you._

_James_

_P.S. I remember Sarah. I remember Steve’s mother’s name was Sarah’_

  
  


He was staying at the sanctuary I'd stayed in so long ago. I wondered if he was staying in the same hogan I had. He was staying because the wolves reminded him of me, he might not realize why but I did. 

“Ooo. Presents.” Fin said from the doorway. 

“Yeah, from the sanctuary I stayed at.” I was true, to a point. I hated lying to her but she’d asked me to and I couldn’t ask her to lie to Steve for me. 

“Nice!” She held the stuffed wolf up to my face with a grin. “Looks just like you.”

And it smelled just like him.

  
  


**[Fin - 19:12 Oct 31st, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

I’d never been nervous at a halloween party before, the opposite actually. Halloween was the day I got to become whoever I wanted and no one could say shit about it, it was liberating. This was different. I still dressed how I wanted to dress, wearing a costume I wanted to wear...but I didn’t know what people would think about it. No, that wasn’t quite right. I didn’t care what people thought, I cared what Steve was going to think. When I'd decided on the outfit I thought it was a good idea but now that I was wearing it I was second guessing the choice. 

“You okay?” Elena walked out onto the balcony where I was watching the party below. She was carrying her new stuffed wolf with her, it complimented her little red riding hood costume. I enjoyed the irony of her costume choice, knowing if anyone here was a big bag wolf it was her. 

“I feel stupid.” I admitted. 

“You look great.” She reassured me, I must have made a face because she kept talking. “You’re worried about what he’s going to think of it, aren’t you.”

“You’re very perceptive.” I answered flatly. 

“I hate to break it to you, but you could have dressed in a potato sack and he would still like you. Stop worrying for nothing.” She looked around the room below. “Do you know what he’s dressed as?”

“He didn’t say.” 

“Well let’s go find your boy.” She smiled, pulling an arm around my waist and leading me down the stairs. We saw Tony first, wearing the ironman suit without a helmet. I rolled my eyes, nice to see he put in some effort. I spotted a few other familiar faces in the crowd, Bruce dressed as Doc from Back to the Future and Nat pulling off a red headed Sandy from grease. Rhodes was talking to a group of women I didn’t know dressed as Blade, complete with fake vampire teeth and I made a mental note to thank him for not just wearing the war machine suit. Finally I spotted Sam walking in and couldn’t help but laugh. He’d decided to go with B.A. Baracus from the A*team and seemed to be having way too much fun with it. 

“Ladies” He greeted us with open arms. “Nice to see you. Very nice.” He looked us over, appreciating our costumes. 

“Have you seen Steve?” Elena asked so I didn’t have to. Bless her. 

“He’s around here somewhere, he was still getting dressed when I came down.”

“What’s he dressed as?” 

“He said not to say. That you would know when you saw him.” Sam nodded behind me and I turned around to see the Dread Pirate Roberts looking back at me. He had drawn on a thin mustache and he looked the part quite well. 

“Hi.” I said awkwardly, slightly distracted by the deep V of his flowy black shirt.

“You look--” he gestured at my costume.

“Ridiculous?” I offered, tugging at the hem of my pleated red and white skirt.

“Nice.” He smiled. “I was going to say nice. Unless you were going for ridiculous, then I can change my answer.” Elena and Sam excused themselves, leaving us to our awkward flirting. 

“I like it.” I straightened his shirt so the loose collar sat right. “It looks good on you.”

“Piracy?” He asked sarcastically. 

“I was going to go with the Errol Flynn mustache, but I can change my answer.” I mimicked his phrase. His hand went to his lip. 

“I was worried it would look stupid.” I pulled his hand away and kissed him quickly. 

“It looks fine. Just...promise if you decide to grow a real one you’ll go full beard, not thin lip fuzz.” I laughed.

“As you wish.” He bowed. “So tell me. What’s a guy gotta do to get a dame like you to dance with him?” 

“Me?” I feigned modesty, which was hard to do in this outfit, and put on my best breathy actress voice. “I’m just a chorus girl, for that Captain America fellow. Maybe you’ve heard of him? He’s punched Hitler 200 times you know.” I winked and he laughed. 

“I think I may have heard of the guy, he seems like a real square.” He grinned. “Stick with me Doll, I won’t steer you wrong. Bet I can even get you through the fire swamp relatively unscathed.” 

“But what about the ROUSes!?” I gasped dramatically, covering my mouth.

“Rodents of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist.”

“You two look cute” Nat walked between us, looking us over. 

“Thanks.” We said in unison. 

“I hope you’ll actually participate in the party this time, instead of hiding out on the balcony like new years.” She poked at my side and I saw Steve blushing under his mask. I wondered if he was thinking about the more recent time we’d spent on that balcony. 

“I think we’ll try to survive the festivities.” I promised as she walked away.

  
  


**[Elena - 23:45 Oct 31st, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

**_Hold on for Your Life - Sam Tinnesz_ **

I’d made my rounds at the party, talking to everyone I knew and making a point to be seen but my heart wasn’t in it. Every now and then I'd see Fin and Steve laughing together, I was so happy to see them happy but it didn’t change the fact that I was missing that. I looked at my phone again to see the lack of messages mocking my pain as I plopped into a chair in a shadowed corner. I sat in my own personal pity party wishing I could talk to Fin about James but also understanding why I couldn’t. I wanted to tell her that the package was from him, that he’d been sending me postcards and emails and sometimes even texts! I wanted to march right up to her and Steve and tell them exactly where he was, load up the jet and bring him home...I just wanted to have him here, with me. It was selfish and I knew that dragging him back here wasn’t what he needed. I knew that having Steve close by, pressuring him to be the friend he’d lost, wasn’t going to help. I knew he needed time to sort out his mind but I was tired of giving him time. I wanted his time. I wanted to be able to vent to my friend about not having the time I wanted with my...what? Boyfriend? 

I lifted the stuffed wolf to my face, inhaling the scent he’d left behind. I’d guarded the little thing protectively all night to be sure no one else touched it and I wondered if he’d slept with it. He had to have had it near him for hours for the smell to have penetrated the fabric so deeply. 

“Hey.” Fin interrupted my thoughts and I dropped the plush toy back to my lap. “Oh no, don’t stop on my account. I’m fine being friends with a toy sniffing weirdo.” She teased. 

“Thanks...i think.” I turned in my seat to face her. “How is your night going?”

“Good.” She grinned. “Yours?”

“Swell.” I answered flatly. 

“That bad, huh?” 

“Not really.” I felt my posture drop. “Everything just sort of hit me all at once you know?” She made a noncommittal grunt in response that I interpreted as understanding. We sat together for a while and I wondered where Steve had run off to. Surely Fin hadn’t unglued herself from his side just to check on me. On second thought, she probably had. I heard her phone vibrate and watched as she actively ignored it. 

“Aren’t you going to see what that was about?” I prompted. 

“Nope. It’s not important. I’m hanging out with you.” She punched my arm lightly, Fin’s way of attempting to comfort another human being. 

“Well i’m going to bed so you might as well check your messages.” She pulled out the phone and smiled at whatever was on the screen, the smile she only got around Cap. I got to my feet. “What does the Dread Pirate Roberts want?” Her smile widened and her shoulder rose in a half shrug. 

“He says it’s a surprise and that I should come outside.”

“Go. Have fun. Try not to do anything anywhere Tony can catch you. I don’t need to relive that conversation.” I patted her on the shoulder and started walking, to my surprise Fin followed. “I thought you were going outside?”

“If he doesn’t think I'm changing clothes first he is crazy.”

She changed and left me alone in the room, I curled under the blankets with my wolf and tried not to think about where James was now, where he might be tomorrow. I surprised myself the next morning when I awoke without having realized I'd even fallen asleep. I looked over at Fin’s bed and found it empty. 

“Must have been some surprise to keep her from coming to her own bed.” I said to the stuffed wolf. It looked back at me with its unblinking glass eyes. “Oh, what do you know.” I set it on the nightstand and pulled on decent clothes before going to the kitchen, not expecting any company.

“You’re up earlier than I'd expected.” I called from the kitchen island over my bowl of cereal when I saw him walking up the hall. I knew Steve considered anything past seven over sleeping but after the party I hadn’t expected anyone to be awake yet. 

“I can’t sleep once the sun’s up. Feels like I'm wasting time.” He poured himself some wheaties with Iron man on the box. Of course. 

“What time did you even go to bed? I didn’t hear you and Fin come in last night.” I asked, trying to get him to tell me what the surprise had been. Fin doesn’t usually offer up the information on her own but the fact that she hadn’t come back to our room last night had me nosey. He looked up at me with a furrowed brow and not even a hint of a blush. 

“We didn’t go out last night. I crashed after the party. I was so beat I almost forgot to wash off the mustache.”

“Fin wasn’t in your room?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. 

“No.” His voice wasn’t calm. It sounded angry but I'd known him long enough to recognize the fear. 

“You didn’t text her to meet you outside after the party?” He dropped the bowl and it shattered on the floor, dry cereal scattering across the tile as he marched toward the bedrooms. We checked every room, waking people up as we went. I tried to explain what little I knew about what was happening while trying to keep Steve calm. Once the living quarter floors were cleared we headed down stairs. She wasn’t asleep in the living room, the only people there were hungover party goers who’d been too drunk to call a ride. I saw Sam’s head peak up out of a pile of decorations and two women dressed in lingerie with animal ear headbands. When he got to his feet the women protested but went back to sleep. 

“What’s going on?” He asked as he watched Steve take the stairs down another floor, now yelling Fin’s name as he ran, turning over furniture as he went. 

“I’m not sure. Fin got a text from him last night to meet him outside and now she’s missing and he says the text wasn't from him.” I looked in the direction Steve had disappeared. “We’re checking the tower and hoping she just fell asleep in the gym or something but…”

“But you don’t think so.” I shook my head and he continued. “Okay...well you follow him. I’ll get with Tony and Hill, see if they can track her phone. I’ll get my wings on and see what I can see. We’ll find her.” He laid a hand on my shoulder and smiled, I knew it was for my benefit and for some reason that concerned me more. I thanked him and went to find Steve. By the time I caught up he was in the gym, I had to duck to avoid being hit by flying equipment. 

“I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?” Jarvis’s voice spoke before I could. 

“Yes!” Steve shouted. 

“No. Go ahead Jarvis.” I watched Steve pace as I listened.

“At Agent Hill’s request I've completed a scan of the tower. Everyone is accounted for with the exception of Agent Finlay.” Jarvis informed us in a matter of fact tone. “I have also compiled all of the surveillance footage of last night and see that she exited the building alone at 12:57. I have no footage after that.”

“What about outside? You don’t have cameras outside!?” Steve was still yelling. I wasn’t used to seeing him lose his composure and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I absently wondered how much animal tranq it would take to knock him out. 

“The exterior cameras seem to have suffered a systems malfunction between the hours of midnight and one am. I’ve been running a diagnostics check all morning but it seems to be from interference beyond my control. I apologize for the inconvenience...I’m opening the line, Sam wishes to say something.” Jarvis’s voice stopped and Sam took his place. It was a little jarring. 

“I’ve got a lock on her phone but I don't think it’s good. It says it’s just outside.” 

We both ran, I pushed ahead of him on the stairs where my size made it possible. I wanted to go out first. If she was there and hurt I could help her, if it was worse...i wanted to keep him from seeing worse. As I burst out the door I saw nothing, I could smell Fin faintly in the area but she wasn’t here. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialed her number and followed the sound of her ringtone to a phone. It was laying in the street, nearly falling through the drainage grate, the screen was cracked. When I pressed the button to unlock the screen it showed my missed call as well as the message from Cap’s number. He looked at it over my shoulder and took out his phone, holding it out to me. 

“I didn’t send that.” It was the calmest I'd heard him since we’d left the kitchen and when I looked at his face it was white as a sheet. I laid a hand on his arm trying to reassure him that we’d get her back but unable to find the words. I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would tell him the things running through my mind. Fin’s scent ended where I'd picked up her phone. I couldn’t smell another person nearby either, but I could smell Isoflurane. A lot of it.


	7. Sweet Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* The following chapter depicts graphic descriptions of violence and torture.

**[Fin]**

_Sweet Dreams - Emily Browning_

_I walked out into the cool night, thankful I'd changed into jeans and a hoodie. I looked around for Steve but didn’t see him. Assuming he’d gone to change too I took my phone out of my pocket, ready to text and ask where he was when I felt a hand over my face. I heard my phone bounce off the sidewalk as my arms went weak and I tried to fight my attacker...tried to fight the sleep taking me...I tried._

The room I woke up in wasn’t my own. I tried to get my bearings but something was off. The room was upside down and the acrid smell of ash still burned my nose. 

“Ah, so you are alive after all! I thought maybe we’d overdone it.” A man with a thick german accent leaned over to look at my face. He was standing on the ceiling...or floor of the room and I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. He did look familiar though, the monocle catching at something in my memory. “You know you’re heart actually stopped for…two hours, eight minutes and forty-seven seconds!” He’d read the time off a chart which somehow gave it credibility in my fogged mind. 

“That’s nice Colonel Klink, can I get back to Hogan and the rest of the gang now? We’ve got a tunnel to finish.” 

“AH.” he chuckled and my fuzzy brain finally realized I'd seen him before at SHIELD functions, his name was Wolfgang Von Strucker. “The American show about incompotent Nazi’s. Yes. very funny. Although, Hydra was only a part of the Nazi party as long as it suited us. Heir Schmitt had more ambition than the Fuhrer ever dreamed of.”

“Is that so?” I asked as he turned the table I was strapped to back in the upright position. I felt the blood rush out of my head and for a second I thought I was going to vomit. 

“Don’t you know?” He cocked his head with a grin. 

“I know nothing!” I did my best Schultz impression. He only shook his head at me and grinned, the expression showing too many of his teeth.

“Well I know plenty. I know that you are...romantically involved with Captain America.” He sneered at the name. I tried to think of when we could have been seen outside of the tower and my mind replayed the sound of a film camera shutter followed by Happy tossing me the film roll. “Don’t worry, I think we can cure you of that. And besides, If he hadn’t taken you out we might not have found you! We were having such a hard time after Daniel left you.” He ran a cool hand over my face, his eyes following the line of his hand. “With your hair made up you looked more like your mother.”

“What?” The comment wasn’t something I heard often. 

“I’m surprised no one else could see it...Although I suppose not many people are familiar with her. Daniel was the one who noticed, he liked your mother. He was so distraught when he thought he’d killed you! Poor man.”

“Daniel?” Who the fuck was Daniel? 

“Ah, sorry. Doctor Whitehall, I believe you called him. Although that was not his real name either. He was Werner Reinhardt when the S.S.R captured him. He looked good for his age, did he not?” He laughed but I didn’t get the joke “Too bad he is not here to see you for himself, his advances in compliance would save us much time and pain. Well, me time and you pain. But he is...unavailable. So we shall proceed without him? I’m not sure about you but I think we can manage.”

“Proceed with what? Trying to get me to tell you fanboys about Redskull? I already told Dr. Whitehall, I don’t remember anything from before I woke up with SHIELD.” 

“What makes you think we need you to remember?” He held up a leather bound dossier with weathered yellowed pages inside. “Whitehall may have wanted the satisfaction of hearing it from you but your father took impeccable notes…” He opened to the first pages, diagrams of a skeletal system with notations in cramped german writing. 

“Goody for him.” I rolled my eyes. 

“SHIELD did manage to ‘misplace’ the pages with the formula, I imagine Ms. Carter had something to do with it. After all, these files were in her possession.” Despite trying to remain neutral I must have reacted because a smug expression crossed his face. “You didn’t know? She and Coulson knew all along. Every detail of what your father put you through to test your limits, to know your full potential...and they kept it from you!” No wonder Pops had been so against me trying to recover my lost memories. He knew what was buried in there.

“If you’re trying to make it sound like redskull was the one making the good parenting choices you’re a few decades too late.” I rolled my eyes. That ship sailed when the bullet went through my mother’s cranium. 

“I won’t try to change what you think of the people who raised you any more than I will try to get you to remember your childhood with Schmidt.” He laid the book down on a table filled with surgical appliances before picking up the scalpel and running it down the length of my bicep. I felt the muscle separate and fall, hanging loosely off the bone and I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming. “But perhaps we could make some new memories, you and i.”

**[Steve - 23:45 Nov 1st, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

“It looks like your phone was cloned.” Bruce handed the cell phone back to me. “It’s clean now but someone duplicated the Sim card.” I looked at him, waiting for anything he was saying to make sense. 

“It means that someone could have sent a message to Fin and it would have looked like it was from you.” Nat explained, coming to stand beside me. “They would have had to get close to do it though...Jarvis, did we ever lose the cameras inside?”

“No ma’am. Accessing it now.” Footage of the party started playing, we all watched as Jarvis ran facial recognition scans, identifying everyone in the room. It stopped on the face of an older gentleman, pulling up a SHIELD ID card to identify him. 

“Doctor List?” Elena read. The digital file listed him as MIA after the Triskelion but given his former allegiance with Dr. Whitehall, a man who’d been confirmed hydra operative, it was pretty clear who’d side he was on now. “Shit.”

“What?” Nat had been the one to ask, I was too busy staring into the picture, the man standing only a few feet from Fin and I while we talked. There had been a hydra agent a few feet from us in the tower and we’d been oblivious. 

“If List still has ties to Whitehall...It’s not good. Jarvis see if you can find who else may have been in that circle.” She was being vague and Elena was never vague when it was important. I turned and met her eyes, encouraging her to elaborate. “Whitehall knows about Fin. Everything about Fin.” Her face emphasized the last bit for my benefit and I understood why she was playing the information close to the vest. Not everyone knew that Fin was Redskull’s daughter but if Hydra had figured it out…

“That’s why they took her." My mind was racing, they took her, just her. "If they just wanted to take us all out, they could have.”

“I thought about that too, I had Jarvis look for anything he left behind in case he was trying to get two birds with this stone but we’re clear.” Tony added. 

“You’re sure? No bombs, no bugs?” Nat looked at Jarvis’s sweep manually, double checking the work. 

“Yeah, I'm sure. We’re safe.” Tony exhaled. 

“That sounds familiar.” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it slipped. 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Tony got defensive and I was actually relieved that he was starting a fight about it, fighting with him distracted me from everything else.

“I mean that you said you had security under control! It’s the only reason any of us even agreed to let you have your damned party!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed your permission to invite people into MY home, Rogers!”

“You WOULDN’T if you hadn’t INSISTED that we all stay here FOR OUR SAFETY!" I was yelling and i didn't care, I was pissed. "You are the one that said we should stay here while we hunt down the rest of Hydra, that it was safer than being apart. You're the reason we're all here and yet so concerned with keeping up your image you didn’t even think about how the party could be exploited!” 

“EXCUSE ME for thinking the having the fucking AVENGERS at the party would be enough of a security measure! Where were you? Oh, that’s right, you were letting a hydra agent clone your phone to trick your little girlfriend into going outside where they could grab her.”

I lunged at Tony but Elena stepped between us. 

“Can you two stop!? None of this is helping us find Fin!”

  
  


**[Fin]**

_‘They will find me. They will come for me. They will bring me home._ ’ I kept repeating the mantra in my head, hoping to bring it into reality. I tried to focus on the words in my head instead of the bright swirls of color on the screen in front of me. Tried to ignore the ticking of the metronome behind me and the jolts of electricity that shot through me when a photo of my friends blinked on the screen. They were trying to get me to associate the faces with the pain, I knew what they were doing, but I also knew that Elena and Steve would have noticed I was gone by now. They would find me and they would come for me. I just had to survive the pain and maintain control of myself in the time between. I wasn’t sure which part was worse, the physical torture or the attempted brainwashing. 

“Ah! Healed already? You’re improving!” Strucker ran his hands over my knees, checking the patella for the breaks he’d inflicted. Despite beating each with a ball peen hammer what seemed like hours ago the bones had mended. I didn’t know how long it had taken to heal, not really, I'd passed out from the pain when he started breaking the second knee.

At first I fought passing out, I didn’t want to give them the opportunity to do anything I wouldn’t be aware of but I soon realized it was easier to let go. They had started small, cutting my skin, and muscle deeper and deeper so they could study how quickly the wound mended. A few times I'd woken up with metal rods and knives impaled through one muscle or another, my body unable to heal around the foreign object. They took notes and photos, commenting that the deeper wounds didn’t heal if they weren’t bound and speculating that I wouldn’t be able to regrow a limb after dismemberment but I could possibly survive. 

When they grew bored of cutting they started pulling out fingernails and watching them regrow, next my teeth. I’d managed to bite one of the masked doctors helping Strucker during that process which earned me a short reprieve as they tried to reattach it. When I started laughing Strucker shoved gauze in my mouth until I couldn’t. When I started choking on the blood soaked fabric he watched, although he must have taken them out before I actually choked to death because I woke up as he was checking on the teeth I'd regrown. After that they’d gone to breaking bones. They’d done my hands, my arms, my feet. They cut my achilles tendons… those took longer to heal than the bones, the faceless man with one less finger had to pin stitch them together before they would repair.

With each new ‘test’ came new pain and every time I felt my vision start to fade I thanked them for it. The screaming that I'd stopped trying to keep inside would end and the words ‘thank you’ would hoarsely escape my lips as I lost consciousness. They didn’t hurt me while I was out, not beyond finishing what they’d started, they wanted my reaction. I did wake up every time to the metronome and the screen. At first I was confused but when the relief of seeing my friends faces came with more pain, I understood. They wanted to know what would break first, by body or my mind.

“Are you ready to comply?”

“Fuck you.”

“This would all be much easier if we didn’t have to keep you restrained.” 

“You’re right. Untie me, it would be much easier.” I smiled but I could hear my teeth grinding. 

“The things we could show you! Don’t you want to unlock your full potential, Fenrisulfr?”

“I think I'll pass, thanks. Last time I did anything with dear old dad and his friends they put me in a box and left me there.” I looked up at the ceiling, if he wasn’t going to untie me it wasn’t worth the effort to look at him.

“He had such plans for you! The world was just not ready.” He sounded genuinely disappointed. 

“And you think it is now?” I laughed nervously.

“It’s no matter. Would you like me to tell you what we have planned for today? It’s quite fascinating, you see we--”

“I don’t need the play by play.” I said hoarsely. “Just get on with it.”

  
  


**[Elena - 09:36 Nov 14th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

Two weeks. Two weeks since Fin had been taken from right under our noses. I was pacing on the hangar deck gripping my phone for dear life. Steve and half the team had gone out on another sweep, this one expanding the search radius even further. No one expected to find anything but Steve kept fluctuating between manic and catatonic so when he wanted to do a sweep, we did. I stayed back this time, hoping a real lead would come in. 

I looked at the phone in my hand again, trying to tell myself not to make the call I'd been wanting to make for days. It wasn’t fair to him, to bring this up when he was trying so hard to forget it, but I was getting desperate. 

“Hey.” Maria walked out to stand with me. “They’re headed back.” Neither of us were surprised but it didn’t hurt less. 

When Maria disappeared back into the tower I dialed the number on the phone and held by breath as it started to ring. 

Once...Twice...I shouldn’t have called…

“What’s wrong?” Just hearing his voice was a strange relief. 

“They took Fin.” I’d planned to ease into it but I'd blurted out the dominant thought before I could stop it. “Hydra. They took my friend. She’s the only family I have left and…” I started to choke up. I hadn’t cried, hadn’t let myself cry. I’d been trying to hold it together because Steve wasn’t and we needed to find her but saying it out loud was breaking me. 

“What can I do?” 

“I don’t...I don’t know. I guess I thought...maybe you would know where they might have taken her? A place nearby they could be holding her or how they would try to move her under the radar? It’s been two weeks...they could have gone anywhere but...Do you have any ideas?”

“I...I’m not sure...I can try.” His voice was nervous and I felt guilty for asking. 

“It’s okay if you can’t...I just wanted to try.” I heard the jet’s engines approaching. “I’ve got to go. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Trying.” I hung up and swallowed the lump in my throat before walking back inside to wait for the team to get back and give us the bad news. I watched Steve storm off the jet, pushing past everyone else and not bothering to spare me a glance as he stomped thru. I heard a crash once he was out of sight and knew he'd broken something in frustration but going to check on it wasn't going to help anything. We needed to find Fin, and soon. 

  
  


**[Fin]**

“Hale is moving forward with the project.” I heard Doctor List in the other room. He’d taken longer to place than Strucker, List kept his mask on, but when I realized he’d been SHIELD too I was angry he hadn’t been the one whose finger I'd bitten off.

“Project destroyer of worlds was always meant for Fenrisulfr, bringing Hale in was only set into motion because we could not prove the true heir was alive. Now we know she is, and we have her! Let Hale have her fun...there may be yet use for whatever she produces, but it will pale in comparison to the bloodline of the redskull himself.”

I started to cough, my lungs felt rough as water came up. 

“You’ve lived up to our expectations, fraulein.” He grinned. I wanted to punch that stupid monocle into his eye. “Now, let us see if you surpass them.” I heard something rolling on the concrete floor and turned to see a defibrillator and surgical supplies.

_They will find me. They will come for me. They will bring me home._

I looked up at the ceiling and repeated the words as I felt cold scissors cutting off the thin gown I'd been covered with. 

“Try not to pass out RIGHT away, hm? Look I brought you this so you can see what we are doing!” He waved at the other people behind him and I watched as they suspended a mirror above me. My body was a lacework of bruises, my skin looked too tight over the bones. The nutrition they were giving me through IV must not be enough to keep up with what my body was burning to keep me alive. I almost laughed at the irony...I would starve to death from healing myself before they actually killed me. 

I didn’t want to watch but I couldn’t make myself close my eyes. I saw the scalpel cut a deep Y from my collar bones to my navel and realized what they were doing. I still couldn’t look away so instead I kept telling myself _They will find me. They will come for me. They will bring me home._

They pulled the skin and muscle from the bone, exposing my ribs. I saw my lungs expand and contract as I tried to keep my breathing steady through the pain. 

_‘They will find me.’_

I smelled my own flesh burn as they cauterized my arteries. 

_They will come for me._

I heard the whine of the bonesaw as it cut thru my sternum and inserted the rib spreaders.

_They will bring me home._

I felt the sweet relief of darkness behind my vision as I started to scream, my ribs cracking. 

I could see my own diaphragm move as I forced myself to say the words

“Thank you.”


	8. Scars

**[James - 23:26 Nov 15th, 2014 - LANCASTER, PA]**

_ Scars - Boy Epic _

I’d already been back to the east coast when she called, I didn’t know why. I kept telling myself it was to get the last dead drop...some twisted part of my brain, ever the soldier obsessed with completing the mission, but the closer I got the more I thought there might be something more. 

I dug the crumpled map out of my bag, smoothing it out on the wooden picnic table of the rest stop. It was mostly empty, too cold for travelers to stop and enjoy the small park, but it worked for me. At first I wasn't sure what I could do to find Elena’s friend, I didn’t know where they might have taken her and I'd spent the last months hiding from the people she was trying to find. In all the time I'd been traveling...running from Hydra I’d known where it was safe and I eventually realized that also meant I knew where it wasn’t.

I ran my hand along the map, tracing a path from my current destination to D.C. and then New York. That’s where she was, that’s where her friend had been taken from. I started there, following main routes out of the city and into others...in my experience they weren’t subtle, Hydra liked to hide in plain sight. Some towns I'd traveled through on my way out, they wouldn’t be there, I wouldn’t have stopped there if they were. As I planned the route I would take back to Brooklyn I realized I kept taking a longer way than I needed too. I kept mapping side roads and avoiding having to go near one place in particular. 

I was there now and I felt my heart in my throat. 

_‘What are you doing, RUN!’_

_‘Leave! You can still get away!’_

_‘They’re in there, you know they are.’_

_‘Kill them. Go in now and kill them all.’_

_‘Is she in there? The girl who was taken?’_

I could see the people moving around the building in the familiar pattern of a guard rotation. I watched until I memorized it. I looked at the phones again, one was new and only had one number programmed in it. The other was old and a little worse for wear but the battery was charged and a text was typed, ready to send. I watched two men turn the corner of the building and counted. On three I started walking. 

When I reached the window I could see that it looked down into a dark room, men were talking and their voices echoed up to me. 

“She is holding up better than I expected. I can’t believe Whitehall was right.”

“Well it's a good thing he is too dead to hold it over us.” A man with a monocle grinned and clapped the first man’s shoulder. “Once she is sufficiently broken we will take her to meet the twins, the witch can help us sway the destroyer to our side and If we can get all three of them compliant we will be unstoppable.”

“You really believe you can turn her against her friends?”

“I think enough pain, when applied properly, is very effective. It’s amazing the lies one's brain will tell your own body to perpetuate survival. And if that fails, the witch will finish the job.”

“She believes they will come for her.”

“They will try, but they will have to find her first.”

I hoped the ‘she’ they were talking about was the one I was looking for. I didn’t have much time left before the guard came past, I couldn’t risk being seen. I hit send on the phone and waited for confirmation that it had gone through before balancing it on the top of the window ledge. I hoped it would go unnoticed as I disappeared into the shadows again. 

  
  


**[Elena - 01:13 Nov 16th, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

“What’s taking so long.” I wasn’t trying to be impatient but I felt like it was taking forever. 

“It’s an encrypted burner phone. It’s not like there’s an app for that.” Hill snapped and Nat sat beside her. 

“Was it one of Coulson’s?” Nat looked at me. 

“Yeah. He gave them to us for emergencies.”

“Move.” She pushed Maria over. “I know the backdoor into it’s gps. I helped him design it.”

“Do we have it yet?” Steve burst through the door, already fully geared up. 

“Almost.” Nat answered, not looking up from the screen. It had been a little over an hour since I'd gotten the text from Fin’s old burner phone. The message was only three words but I’d almost fallen trying to get out of bed too fast. I’d been yelling for Steve and he’d broken the door jam when he ran in. Once he realized my blanket’s weren’t attacking me I showed him. 

‘TRACK.THIS.PHONE’

The number was still saved in my phone as ‘Hati’ and as far as Steve knew she was still in possession of the phone. She and I were the only ones that knew it had been ‘misplaced’ after she’d found Cap on the side of the Potomac. 

“I’ve got her. Let’s go.” Nat was already on her way to the hangar, Cap on her heels. I grabbed my bag and followed, mentally thanking James for finding her and hoping he hadn’t traded himself in the process. 

  
  


**[Fin - 09:26 Nov 21st, 2014 - HYDRA BASE]**

“You were right Fraulin, your friends did come to take you back, Although i’m not sure how they found us here.” He undid the restrains on my legs and yanked me out of the chair by my hair, not bothering to uncuff my arms from where they were hooked into my belt but the chains were long enough that my movement wasn’t overly hindered. I felt the barrel Strucker’s weapon pressed into the back of my ribs as we waited, that was a bit more of a deterrent as we watched the closed door that led into the hallway. We both knew who was coming. I took a deep breath, and reassured myself that he was coming. He was coming for me and everything would be alright, we would capture Strucker and we would go home. 

I heard a commotion in the hall and felt my breath catch, the door opened and Strucker jabbed the gun deeper into my side as he acknowledged the other person in the room.

“Captain Rogers!” Strucker announced, seeming excited at the new guest. “Here to save the day?”

“Something like that.” He answered, looking at my face for something. Direction? A plan? He was on his own there. 

“How about a deal, Captain? I will return her to you and you let me go.”

“Fin?” He gave me the call. If I thought I was in danger I could make the deal and walk and he would understand, I saw it in his face. 

“We both just go our separate ways?” I asked. I honestly didn’t care if we took Strucker in, I just wanted to leave. I wanted to go home. 

“Until we meet again.” He grinned. I nodded at Steve, hoping that someone else on the team could pick him up as he ran. 

“Deal.” Steve nodded, putting his shield on his back.

[Such a waste.]

“So eine Verschwendung.”

I heard the sound before I felt the bullet tearing through me. I saw Cap’s face go white and I couldn’t breathe. I vaguely registered that Strucker had pushed me away from him as the world fell sideways and Steve caught me before I hit the floor. 

  
  


**[Steve- 09:49 Nov 21st, 2014 - HYDRA BASE]**

I watched as the gun went off, unable to do anything but catch her as she fell. 

“SHIT.” I pulled her up to face me, watching helplessly as Strucker ran out of sight before I looked down at Fin. one of her hands was holding onto the fabric of my shirt as the other tentatively touched the exit wound where her ribcage used to be. Her eyebrows contorted in pain and confusion as she kept compulsively swallowing. I pulled her hand from the wound. “Hey...Hey. it’s alright. You’re alright. You’ll be alright.” I looked around, frantically searching for my allies. I didn’t see any of them...I didn't see anyone. 

“Elena” tried to sound calm over the comms and when she didn’t answer I shouted, hoping she would be close enough to hear me. “ELENA!” Fin’s hand reached up to my face and I turned to look at her again, I felt the wet trail of warm blood as her fingers brushed my cheek and she tried to open her mouth to speak. Instead of words her eyes went wide and blood poured through her lips. 

“No! No, no. no no.” I picked her up and her eyes rolled back as she lost consciousness. I tried the comms again. “ELENA.” I sounded mad. Good, better mad than panicked. 

“I’m here. “ She was breathing heavily. “Sorry, I got ambushed.”

“WHERE. ARE. YOU.” I managed. There was a pause before she answered, her tone making me think she knew something was wrong. 

“East end of the building. I’ll come to you. “ I was already on the move. 

“Meet you in the middle, I'm already on my way.” As an afterthought I added. “Strucker escaped, he was headed South. I’ve got Fin but I lost him.”

“On it.” I heard Sam answer as I rounded a corner, almost running into Elena. 

“What happened?” She asked as she tried to take Fin from me. I helped lay her on the ground. 

“Strucker shot her point blank.” She looked down, seeing the extent of the damage. 

“Shit.” She rolled her over enough to see the smaller entry wound on her back. Surrounded by powder burn. “Help me.” She pulled the bloodied shirt Fin was wearing away from the wound. My brain registered that she wasn’t wearing her own clothes as it slid off, the extent of the damage made me go pale. It wasn’t just the gunshot wound, it was everything else. If it had only been the damage from the bullet I would still be worried but not afraid, seeing the hundreds of new scars and bruises that covered her body I realized what they must have been putting her through. If she’d spent the last weeks healing from everything they might have inflicted...she might not have the energy to survive something this severe. This couldn’t be happening. We just found her...I just got her back. Elena folded the shirt into a compress, putting it to the wound on her back before motioning for me to lay her back down. 

“Is she…” I started to ask but Elena put her hand up to cut me off, concentration on her face. A man ran into the room, gun drawn. I pulled Elena’s side arm from it’s holster and fired. The man fell. 

“What happened to taking hostages.” she asked as I put the gun back. I didn’t answer so she kept talking. “We got lucky, there’s enough of her lung left for me to heal. Hold down her shoulders. I can’t have her waking up and trying to move while I'm wrist deep in her lung. Understand?” I nodded, and did as I was told. The wound made a sickening squelch as Elena’s hand disappeared into the blood. I tried not to look at her face, I didn’t want to read any emotion that might tell me something I didn’t want to know. After a minute I heard her whispering quietly.

“Come on...come on Fin. I just need you to breathe...Her heart is beating, I can feel it, and I repaired the lung but...i can’t make her breathe. She has to do that.” I realized the last part was intended for me to hear but I didn’t know what to say in response, instead I kept my hands on Fin’s shoulders and hoped that any second now she would try to bolt upright, gasping for air. 

She didn’t take a sharp inhale or sit up ready to fight me, but she did breathe. At first I thought I'd imagined it but when I saw relief on Elena’s face I knew the truth. I’d heard the soft rattle of Fin taking a breath through the blood. 

“She’s going to be ok?” I needed reassurance. Elena nodded. “You’ve got her?” I asked, I had something I needed to do. 

“Yeah, i’ll keep her safe. You go find the Bastard did this to my friend.”

  
  


**[Fin- 10:06 Nov 21st, 2014 - HYDRA BASE]**

_Say it to me now - Glen Hansard_

I felt a rock in my side, like I'd swallowed a brick and when I tried to take a deep breath it pushed against me. I blinked my eyes open and saw Elena crouching over me, one hand tucked into my side.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to put things inside unconscious people. That’s how you get into trouble.” I murmured. 

“Nice to see you too. Next time I'll let your lung stay confetti.” she countered, clearly not in the mood for jokes but trying her best to humor me, I heard the unmistakable sound of relief in her voice and I wondered how long I'd been out. “Now stop moving.”

“You won’t. You like me too much.” I tried to hold still and felt her tugging at my rib. I looked down and realized she wasn’t pulling as much as she was using the broken piece as a base to build on as she healed the hole. Gross.

“You want to tell me what happened? Did the hydra agent in the windowless van offer you candy?”

“He caught me off guard...I didn’t even hear him come up behind me…” I felt her pull her hand out as muscle mended around the bone. “He told me that I look like my mother...”

“Is that why they took you? They figured it out.” She put the pieces together, same as I had. It was the only thing that made sense. 

“I think it’s a safe bet...can I move now?”

“I’m not done.” 

“Am I still bleeding to death?” I asked, gesturing to her comlink and holding out an empty hand.

“No.” she glared at me, handing me a spare earpiece.

“Then you’re done. I’ve had worse. Help me up.” She did, albeit begrudgingly. I may not have been at 100% but I felt better than I had in days. Even if i was shaky on my feet, I didn’t want her wasting energy she didn’t have.

“What’s everyone’s status?” I heard Maria over the comms as I put mine in. Everyone but Steve chimed in that their sections were clear. “Captain?” We all waited for his response. 

“Clear.” He growled into the comms.

“No sign of Strucker?” Elena asked. 

“No...damn it.” he exhaled, he sounded pissed. “Everyone back to the Jet. Let’s get out of here.” 

I couldn't disagree with the sentiment. Fuck this place. She helped me put the bloody shirt back on and we walked back to the jet slowly at Elena’s insistence, she kept looking at my side like it might spontaneously fall apart and I wondered what would happen if I sneezed right now. I tried not to dwell on it. I realized as we approached that we were the last ones back.

“If anyone asks, let’s tell them it’s not my blood.” I suggested. 

“Sure. We’ll tell them that’s not your hole either. “She gestured to where the .45 round had exited the front of me.“ That’s If they ask. I’m not sure they haven’t figured it out.” She nodded to everyone sitting and looking at us like I'd grown a second head. Everyone but Cap, he was standing to the side with his arms crossed looking at the floor. That couldn't be good. 

“How long was I in there?” I whispered. I hadn’t been able to keep track. 

“A little over three weeks.”

“Shit…”

“You’re going to tell me what happened.” It wasn’t a question. 

“I will. First thing when we get back. I promise, but --”

“You need to talk to him first.” 

I nodded and we boarded without a word, Maria closed the bay door behind us and we took off. Once we were in the air a stern voice broke the silence. 

“Can I speak with you, in private.” Cap said through gritted teeth. Oh boy, I wasn’t even home yet and was somehow already in trouble. I’d hoped we would have at least waited until we landed. 

“Sure.” He opened the door to the cargo hold and I stepped in, he followed and slammed the door behind us. 

“Jarvis. A little privacy please.” Steve barked at the Ai.

“Yes Sir. surveillance has been disconnected.” 

“Make sure Tony doesn’t override the order.”

“Very good sir.” Jarvis confirmed. 

He didn’t speak, instead he stood there with his arms crossed, clenching his teeth. When his nostrils started to flare I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“It’s not like I asked for this, why are you mad at me?” I asked defensively. 

“I’m not.” He snapped. 

“Sure seems like you are!” I argued. “You won’t even look at me!” I stepped in front of him and while he didn’t turn away he didn’t look at me either. I threw my arms up in exasperation. 

“I’m not mad at you! But every time I look at you I…” he exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you remember what happened?” 

“Yes.” I whispered. 

“Everything?” He asked, his eyes catching mine for the briefest instant. 

“I remember getting taken, getting shot...everything in between...I remember you coming for me...you catching me.” I paused to see if he would stop me but he didn’t. “I remember swallowing blood while you told me I would be alright...and you yelling for help. I remember trying to tell you I was glad to see you, tell you it would be okay and--”

“And choking on your own blood? Cause that’s the part I'm having trouble with.” he admitted. “Every time I look at your face...that’s all I see.”

“And you're mad at me for that?” I was confused, ”it’s not like I shot myself!”

“I’m mad that it happened! I’m mad that we ran into this without a plan and got you hurt!” He started pacing in the small space, I let him get it out of his system. Even if he was yelling at me I was glad to see him. “How did they even take you? What were you thinking going out alone in the middle of the night!? We have enemies! It’s why we’ve all been in the tower! It was reckless--” I was glad that the walls were thick, I hoped thick enough that even Elena couldn’t hear because his choice of words had ignited a flame in me that I thought I'd let burn out. 

“Reckless.” I scoffed. “Reckless! YOU of all people want to lecture about being reckless! You have got to be kidding me! I thought I was going outside to see YOU! How was I supposed to know YOU had let hydra clone your number? Yes, I got kidnapped, I got shot, it sucked! it’s not like I just let it happen! It’s not like I let someone beat my face into ground chuck and then let a helicarrier land on me in the middle of the fucking Potomac!” 

“Fin.” He started, and I could almost hear the ‘that’s not fair’ that was going to follow my name but I didn't let him get it out. I was on a roll. 

“No! You don’t get to talk right now. I’m not done and I almost died today, and honestly a lot of the days before this one too, so that means I get to talk. You have NO right to say that anything that happened was anyone’s fault but Hydra’s. You also don’t get to lecture me on watching someone almost die.” I felt my throat get tight and pushed past it. If I didn’t get this out now I wouldn’t.

“When you told Hill to shoot down the carriers while you were on them I RAN to get to the water before they crashed and when I didn’t make it before they went down I was prepared to go after you. God knows how I thought I was supposed to find you in all of that…Thankfully I didn’t have to. Bucky pulled you out and for that I'm grateful, but it doesn’t change the fact that when I found you...you were bleeding and beaten and every time you exhaled you still had water coming out of your mouth because you’d been that close to drowning. I carried you to the hospital, cussing at you the whole way. I was scared. I was fucking terrified that you were going to die and I was angry that you made me feel that way because I don’t like being scared and I--” 

He took my face in his hands and kissed me hard, his arms embracing me and squeezing me closer to him. It hurt but I didn’t really care, I understood. I moved my arms around his neck, not wanting to let him go as I stumbled back, pulling him with me. We hit the wall with a thud and he lifted me against it, I wrapped my legs around his waist and his fingers dug into my hips as he pinned me against the wall. I tasted blood on his lips and wasn’t sure if it was mine or his. One of his hands slid under me, holding me up as the other went under my shirt, breaking the kiss to pull it over my head. His hand felt hot where it touched my skin and I wanted more, I needed more. He pressed me harder against the wall, I felt his length against me between my thighs as I reached between us, undoing the buckle of his belt. 

**BAM BAM BAM**. A fist pounded on the door. We looked at each other, unmoving. My hand still on his undone belt between us as we hoped whoever it was would go away. 

**BAM BAM BAM**. Shit. He lowered me to the floor, handing me my shirt as he cracked it open. I heard Elena’s voice. 

“2 minutes til landing.”

“Thanks.” He said flatly, closing the door again. I pulled on my shirt and walked to him, kissing him lightly on the mouth. I felt him smile against my lips before he spoke. 

“You’re going to have to stop that. We’re landing in two minutes.” 

“We could do a lot in two minutes.” I shrugged, he blushed. 

“Or...” He kissed me on the forehead. “We take a raincheck on the very enjoyable stuff that was just happening and I try to think about the Dodgers batting averages until I can walk out of here with some semblance of dignity.” His blush deepened and I couldn't help but glance down at the ‘problem’. I very carefully refastened his belt buckle, kissing his cheek before stepping back. 

I walked out, slamming the door behind me. I hadn’t meant to but I was frustrated. 

“Where’s Cap?” Tony asked when Steve didn’t follow me out the door.

“He needs a minute to cool off.” It wasn’t a lie, I would just let him interpret it however he wanted to. Based on the looks I was getting, every one of them thought we’d been fighting and I wondered what they thought the sound of me slamming against the wall was. Too late I realized it probably sounded like someone being thrown into a wall. Shit. No wonder they all look concerned. 

* * *

**[Elena- 11:12 Nov 21st, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

Where the hell were they? I’d told Fin I wanted to look her over. I felt my phone vibrate and was expecting it to be her telling me she’d gotten lost on her way to meet me, conveniently wandering off someplace with Steve. Instead it was a blocked number that only came up as zeros on the caller ID. it took me a second to realize it was ringing. I stepped back into my room as I answered. 

“Hello?”

‘“Was she there? Did you get her?” James’s voice sounded worried on the other end of the line. 

“She was and we did. She’s going to be alright I think.”

“Good.” I heard him exhale before continuing with a dry laugh. “I had to get a new phone.”

  
  


**[Fin - 11:59 Nov 21st, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

I knew Elena wasn’t going to rest until she looked me over and after some time dragging my feet I texted her to meet me in the open loft on the top floor. I opened the large glass doors and looked over the city while I waited, letting the wind hit my face. I was glad to be outside, glad to be able to come and go as I please. I twirled the throwing knife in my hand absently and listened for the door, when it came I jumped despite myself and cursed under my breath. 

“Funny, that’s the same language your boyfriend used when we realized you were missing.”

“Maybe he’s a bad influence on me.” she smiled. 

“I’m sure that’s it.” I replied sarcastically. “Where is he anyway?”

“Downstairs. He wanted to come but I told him I needed a minute with you...alone. He agreed once I pointed out that he could have me all to himself afterwards. He wasn’t happy about it.”

“I’m pretty sure being kidnapped is the fastest way to give someone separation anxiety so I can’t blame him.” she crossed her arms. Shit, time to be serious. “Let me see.”

I didn’t have to ask what she meant. I’d seen myself in the mirror, I knew my body was a Jackson Pollock of bruises and scars. I walked past her to lock the door, returning to face her and tossing the knife again before throwing it down, letting it dig point first into the carpet before taking off my shirt. My ribs were still tender when I stretched but the pain wasn't constant. I didn’t look at her face, didn’t want to see her reaction as I stripped off the pants too. I wasn’t self conscious around Elena, we’d passed that stage years ago, but I know that every cut and bruise I unveiled, her mind was forming a narrative. When I stood up straight her eyes went to the Y shaped lines that formed across my torso, the thin pink lines were still raised and the dark backdrop of purples and greens made them stand out. 

“Fin” She stepped forward, holding her hands out but I stopped her. 

“Don’t. I mean it E. Don’t waste your energy...Let me sleep on it. “ I looked down. “Give me two, maybe three days and i’ll be good as new.”

“But you don’t have to wait. I can fix it now.”

“You don’t need to. I’m fine. All of this...all of this if just from the last few days.” I ran my hand down the autopsy scars. “This was yesterday...Elena we knew I healed fast but...i think if you don't heal me and my heart stops...I don’t think it matters.”

“Of course it matters! Fin I can’t let you die!”

“No, I know. I mean...I’m not sure I can.” When Elena opened her mouth to argue I kept talking, not wanting to lose momentum. “I mean I'm sure I CAN I just don’t know how yet. They did things to me, to see what I could survive...I survived it all. When they took me they used too much of the drug and my heart stopped for hours. I woke up. They waterboarded me until there was more water than air in my lungs and I woke up. They literally cut me open to see what makes me tick and were nice enough to put up a mirror for me to watch it happen...and I woke up.” I felt tears on my face, the pain I hadn’t let myself feel when they’d carved at me finally coming to the surface. I wiped them away and forced a weak smile. “Oh yeah they tried to brainwash me too...but that seemed less important than the essentially being unkillable thing, so...you can say something now.”

“Was it like before, when Whitehall...?” Her voice trailed off, unwilling to say it out loud.

“Killed me?” I choked on my own laugh and was glad I'd made Steve stay away, I hadn't told him the extent of what I'd been through when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell and that wasn't going to change anytime soon. “Don’t tell Steve...about what they did.” He didn't need the guilt and we both knew he would carry it if we let him. 

“I won’t.”

“Good...cause there’s more. Take it” I picked up the knife from behind her and held it out, hilt first. She did as I asked and her eyebrow rose in a question. “I need you to make sure they didn’t leave anything.” I looked at the knife and back at her face, expecting the shocked expression that awaited me. She tried to hand the knife back.

“Fin! I’m not cutting you open!” 

“Elena, I need you to do this for me.” I met her eyes and didn’t look away as I explained, I needed her to understand. “Strucker let me go too easily, he left me knowing I'd slow you down for him to escape. He had to know I’d survive...I need to know I'm not a trojan horse here, E.” 

“When was the last time you slept? And I don’t mean blacked out, I mean actually slept.” 

“You’re guess is as good as mine.” I shrugged. “But don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not, I”m trying to figure out if you’re delusional.”

“If you don’t do it, I will. With or without your help.” I had my best ‘I’m serious’ voice tightly fastened onto my tone so Elena knew, delusional or not, there was no talking me out of it.

“Fine.” She handed the knife back to me. “But we’re going down to the lab and doing it the smart way. Deal?” I nodded. 

We made our way down, shooing out Bruce and Tony with mumbled excuses. Luckily Jarvis responded to Elena, so the whole thing was done quickly. I still disagreed that cutting me open and checking herself wasn’t the most thorough option, but x-rays and full body scans were cleaner. She had been staring wordlessly at my x-ray for a while now and I lump was starting to form in my throat. 

“What?”

“Hmm?” She turned to me, seeing my face. “Oh! It’s nothing, nothing foreign. I was just…”

She pointed to the area on my ribs where the exit wound had been, the bone was darker there and didn’t match the other side but I wasn’t sure what it meant. 

“The bone is less dense, almost hollow where I had to stretch it to close your ribcage...I’ve never seen evidence of my healing before, never thought about how much you heal yourself after I get you put back together.” She pointed to my hip, a place I'd been shot on a previous mission with her. She’d healed the flesh and stopped the bleeding but couldn’t do anything about the bone in the moment. There was no evidence of any damage now. “No hole! Some regrowth is normal but, if I didn’t know better, I'd say you were never shot.”

“Told you.” i said smugly. 

“Fin, healing bones over years is a long way from not being able to die.”

“Run a test.” I suggested. “Come on, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” 

“Death?” She pointed out helpfully. 

“Just don’t do anything you can’t fix.” I shrugged. 

“Fin…”

“Fine! Just...promise if you have to start a triage situation you’ll at least CONSIDER not coming to me first, even if it seems the most logical.” I crossed my arms, waiting. “If you don’t promise I'll just stab myself right now and prove it to you.”

“Jesus Fin, I promise.” Elena’s head turned to the doorway, looking for something I couldn’t hear. “You can come in, we’re done.” Steve came around the corner, a sheepish blush on his cheeks, embarrassed he’d been caught. 

“Sorry, Bruce said you kicked them out of the lab and I thought…”

“You thought you should come make sure everything was okay?” Elena offered with a teasing smile. “She’s got a few things wrong with her but I’m afraid fixing her personality is beyond my abilities."

"Ah, well if my nurse is joking I must be in the clear." I hopped off the table and walked past her to Steve, taking his hand. "I'm all yours, Cap."

  
  


**[Steve - 14:38 Nov 21st, 2014 - AVENGERS TOWER]**

_Medicine Man - Charlotte OC_

She broke the kiss and hissed through her teeth as my fingers brushed the new skin on her side. 

“Sorry.” I blurted. She lifted the bottom of her shirt to see where old flesh met new as she leaned back against the soft grey upholstery of the 1934 Buick McLoughlin’s front seat. We were in the back and I held her legs on either side of my lap as she moved, worried she would fall if I didn’t. She looked so much smaller than she had three weeks ago and I was constantly conflicted about what I wanted. Part of me wanted to look her over, ask if she was okay...the other part of me was just so relieved she was here that I couldn’t stop touching her to make sure she was real.

“Not your fault, it’s just still a little tender.” She brushed her own fingertips across the pink skin and made a face, I grabbed her hand in mine to get her to stop.

“If you’d let Elena finish.” I chided, she rolled her eyes at me before stretching with her arms over her head, first to the left and then the right. She winced when she pulled the healing side.

“I didn’t want her to waste all of her energy.” She leaned toward me and kissed my cheek before sliding into the seat beside me, her legs still draped over my lap. “Besides, I'll be good as new tomorrow.”

“Maybe just don’t get shot next time.” I’d meant to say it jokingly but it came out flat and I earned a sharp look from Fin. 

“Yeah I'll remember that.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I just meant--.”

“I know what you meant.” she crossed her arms and I squeezed her calf in lieu of moving closer to her. 

“I just don’t like it when it’s you.” She tried to flash a reassuring smile, but it disappeared quickly as she absently rubbed the tender spot through her shirt. I leaned toward her, resting my weight on one elbow as I took her hand in mine. I kissed her fingertips. “Stop poking at it.” 

I let her hand go and she ran it through my hair, I laid my hand on her hip furthest from me and let my thumb brush the exposed skin between her shirt and belt. I leaned forward and kissed the spot she’d been touching though her shirt, she made a sound halfway between pain and pleasure and I lifted my head to apologize again. Before I could get the words out she slid down in the seat so her face was even with mine, putting her hands on my face as she kissed me. I moved my hand from her waist to her side, holding her on the seat as I tried to shift my weight. She saw what I was doing and moved with me, so I could maneuver myself over her instead of beside her. We were both more careful of her injured side, neither of us wanting to be interrupted a third time. 

I kissed her neck and under me she lifted her hips to grind into the front of my jeans, I made a sound against her throat in response and felt her chuckle. She moved again and I returned the gesture, matching her pressure and teasing us both. This time she was the one that exhaled in surprised pleasure. I moved down, kissing her clavicle before repeating the process at the low collar of her tank top, my lips barely brushing one of the twin healing scars that peaked above the seam.

“Stop” I heard her whisper. I froze and looked up at her. “I just...my phone.” It took my brain a moment to process that she was telling me her phone was ringing. She shifted to pull it out of her pocket and looked at the screen. It was Elena. 

“Answer it.” I nodded as the phone beeped softly in her hand. I moved back into an upright sitting position in the back seat, waiting patiently for her phone call to be done. Sometimes I missed the days where people couldn’t reach you at every second of every day. “If you don't’ she’s going to come looking for you and you know it.” 

Fin moved back to straddling my lap and made a sound that I can only describe as a whimper as she kissed me and answered the phone. A silent promise that it was going to take more than a phone call to derail us this time.

“Yeah?” She sounded impatient and breathless when she answered and I rested my hands on her hips, my thumbs absently tracing circles on her thighs.

“Fin, I told you to rest. Where are you?” I could hear Elena’s frustrated voice on the other end. 

“I am resting. I’m fine.” Fin shifted on my lap and I bit my lip to keep from making a sound. 

“You don’t sound like you’re resting.”

“I am” She moved again. “Steve and I have just been laying around and staying out of everyone’s way.” a wicked smile on her face when I shot her a ‘what at you doing’ glance and I'd seen that look before, on the balcony. It seemed making me uncomfortable was fun for her and I decided that two could play that game. I tightened my grasp on her hips and pulled her into me, shifting to rub against her as I had before. The sharp inhale was quiet but not enough for Elena to miss.

“Finlay Margaret Coulsom.” Elena sounded mildly annoyed but there was a hint of amusement in her tone. I moved a hand to Fin’s chest, teasing a nipple through the thin fabric of her shirt.

“Mhmm?” Fin responded, words escaping her capabilities. 

“Just come to our room when you’re finished ‘resting’ so I can make sure you two haven’t gotten anything out of whack” Elena laughed. 

“Yep. Candobye.” The last words all ran together as she hurried to hang up the phone, tossing it in the front seat as she crashed into me. My arms wrapped around her torso, holding her tight as we both moved against each other with the same sense of urgency we’d had on the plane ride home. Her nails dug into my scalp as she kissed me, her tongue still tinged with the taste of blood under the minty flavor she’d tried to hide it with. I remembered her trying to speak and only blood coming out, I held her tighter. She pulled her face away from mine, tilting her head back as she continued to rock against me with reckless abandon. I kissed her throat, her shoulders, her chest; everything I could reach as the pressure inside me built. I wanted to say something, I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, how glad I was that she was alright. How much the thought of losing her scared me. How much I loved her.

“Fin, I...” Was all I managed before my body overrode my brain. I held her hips still against mine as the release washed over me, only letting go when the spasms of pleasure stopped. I rested my forehead against hers, both of us breathing hard and when I looked up she was grinning at me with flushed cheeks. “Hi.” was all I could manage as she leaned her forehead against mine. It didn’t make sense but it’s what came out. 

“You know...i’m supposed to be resting.” she paused to breathe, her hand back to her injured side and I chastised myself for not remembering that a few hours ago her lung had been in tatters. “You are a terrible influence.”

“Me!?” 


End file.
